It's critical that you get out of your abusive marriage. A counselor could help you establish boundaries on how to do that. You matter a lot to your children even if they don't act like it. Just imagine what would happen if you were gone. I gently encourage you to get in to see a counselor for therapy. You deserve happiness and perhaps a little guidance would help you get there. Best wishes to you.

I would agree that you get yourself some place safe outside of the abuse. You need to put yourself first right now, though I'm just guessing from the vibe I'm getting off you that you don't do that much. I bet you've always put EVERYBODY first and now that they all know that they're first, they're walking all over you. I'm so sorry. I would suggest seeing a counselor and they can help get you the skills to stand your ground and find your way.

My prayers are with you.

You need to take VERY good care of yourself. I hope what you need to do to have a better life is soon made clear to you.

Be gentle with yourself and fill your life up with as much goodness as you possibly can.

Gentle ((hugs))
:-) Patricia

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I pray you find your strength and where there is strength there is happiness. I pray for the hands of God to hold you and protect you. Please seek the counseling that has been mentioned. You are important to people, you matter, and there is happiness waiting for you.

Many Blessings to you and I pray you find your way.

I often find myself feeling like I dont matter either. I have been in a state where it feels like my whole world is crumbling around me, and no one even notices! I think to myself, "Someone has to see this! Can't anyone see my pain?"
The problem was, some did see it. But because I would just blow it off, got used to it, or didn't want to feel embarassed, I would just keep going and going.
For me, I had to learn the hard way. I had a major breakdown, and realized no one was going to start caring until I did. I had to change my whole routine of how I do things, move, and even left my job. I am not encouraging you to run away, cause thats not why i did those things. I am just encouraging you to make YOUR health a priority!
As someone who has worked with youth, I always find it ironic how much adults are fussing at their children about changes they need to make in their behavior, but we don't give them a model to look at. If we want a change, we have to start with ourselves. Sometimes you've got to put your foot down and care about you, or you wont be any good to anyone.
Hope this is helpful....

I know how you feel teddybear, I have family members & ex-friends that use 2 take advantage of me like that 2! It is awful how some people think that you are only useful for what you can do for them or they feel like you are better off doing what they want you to do. I am sorry you are not feeling well, I hope you feel better.

It is better to let them know how you feel when they are inconsiderate & selfish towards you. Because if you don't let them know up front, they will take advantage of you if you let them & some people will use you more if you don't tell them up front or nip it in the bud. Just sayin..........

I pray that you get the strength to get out of your toxic & abusive marriage. I had to leave one in the past also & believe me......... there is nothing like peace of mind. You need to be happy & stable & your children need you. I hope for the best for you & God Bless you!

I have often felt the way you do Teddybear,lol today is no exception. But I am going thru something at this time in my life and to be honest if I were younger it would affect me so differently but alas I know I must face my problems as is ... and I am. I too have family members who think I "Must" be there for them but when I need (hunching shoulders) cuz no one is there but my personal savior. and I know my faith will see me through this maze I have allowed to happen in my life. Yes I have pity parties but they are much shorter then they used to be. You must get out (abusive relationship) get strong (in parenting) and get to living as if your life is the most important thing ever created .... because it is.. You do matter my friend and there are too many of us who have answered you here on this site to say no one cares ... WE DO. Be blessed my friend and if you are nice I may invite you to my next pity party .. LOL Much love .

i know how you feel. i have a son 21 that steals from us just about every time he's here. he steals my food, pills, money, daughters ipod, her bfriends stuff and my great grandmothers gold cross :( im sure there is more i havent listed. he's also in jail all the time. 2 xmas's in a row. mothers day and went in even the day my grandma died. i feel so used and abused from him!!!!! i even tried getting a no contact order and he still would sneak in or just show up. i called police on him and he went to jail and he still comes back. there is serrious something wrong w/ him!! he just doesnt get it!! i also have a 18 yr. old daughter and a 17 month old daughter. my older daughter i feel is doing pretty good w/ her life. she just started cosmetology school. so proud of her!! but i cant ever get her to help out w/ the baby. i dont expect her to do much w/ her, cuz she is my baby, but it would be nice if she could play w/ her once in awhile and maybe watch her so i could sleep in a little longer while shes not doing anything anyways. but no, i always get the attitude....shes not my baby!! i say ok whatever, just wait till you have kids and you want me to watch them. i do get some help w/ babys dad. thank you god! dont know how id do it 24/7 without some kind of breaks. she's at that age where shes into everything and kicking me and slapping me to get what she wants. o and pulling my hair. so im also abused by my baby....great!! just what i need w/ my depression problems. i do love her so much and am so glad ive have her. before her i was becoming a drunk almost every day and now ive cut down a lot cuz of her. so i find her a amazing blessing!! : ) i take lexapro for about a month and a half and i dont think its working for me! so thinking about waiting a few months continuing it and see it it gets better. o and to top everything else ive got a skin disease thats very embarressing. hardly anyone knows about it. so bad that i dont want a boyfriend....cuz im sure its gonna scare him off!! so i also feel so alone! havent had a real relationship in like 5 yrs. my babys dad was more like a friends w/ benefits. and unfortunatly i cant stand him anymore. dont even know how i got preggo w/ the lifesyle i was living at that time. she was a shocker...but i was very happy!! and she has made me a better person. although i had her at 39 and im pretty slower these days at running after her. got back aches too. anyways i think w/ ur stepdaughter you to flat out tell her no about the babysitting. she needs to respect you more. and your 2 boys you need figure something out before they turn into my son! my son though wasnt a pain until he was17. so even good kids can turn awful and disrespecfull : ( well i hope that you feel better that im going through hell alone and that your not alone. i really do hope you get better and maybe find a better anti depressant med!

Here to talk if you like,can identify with you.