need more information. Explain the pain that you are in. Explain what you are suffering. Then maybe we can make good suggestions?

Mental pain, I hate this world, I hate being in it, I don't want to think, I don't want to feel, I don't just want to exist without hurting...

Physical pain I am in is okay, I can take painkillers, but they don't stop me thinking or feeling.

I want to be numb.

Have you had this discussion with your doctor(s)? Give them a list of your feelings, your issues, what has and has not worked, and all that jazz. They should be able to discuss various meds and their pros and cons with you. A good logical discussion may be the way to deal with depression that is an emotional issue!

Gentle hugs

Its good you are seeing a doctor. To feel numb and dumb, I watch realty TV. Nothing shuts your brain off like the cable networks. Hang in there. Oh, and stay off social media, nothing makes you feel like crap, like other people's drama.

It is difficult for sure, being depressed so much for so long, I don't take any medication for that though so I can't help you in that aspect really.

The easiest safest and best medicine available to you is exercise.

Intense exercise releases natural endorphins - the Runners High

I used to be a gym junkie and it got me through my divorce

Good luck

Also a great way to feel better about yourself is to help somebody else.

From personal experience!

Youbreath. Just say NO to any kind of medication for what you are feeling. They are just as mind altering as the crap you would buy on the street. Even legitimate painkillers do not kill the pain, they just prevent your mind from telling you you are in pain,

Make your list of all the things that are causing you that emotional pain, then find a quiet place and talk to God about them, one by one, and ask him . in Jesus name, to take them away

How many antidepressants have you tried ? it was about my 6th attempt
at a different one when i found Wellbutrin and it did work.

My brother , older than me ,had severe depression his whole life until he found a great psychiatrist who found the right combo for him.

Outside of drugs I agree that exercise is the best option. I have felt
the lift in attitude many times after a good workout.
Even just walking around the block a few times in the sunshine might help some.

I have had depreshion all of my life ...at some leaval or a nother ....but this is only the third time I realy had to be on meds ......if you need help than you schould get the help you need ....I am on ......4 ..antiedepresants ...and one for migrains ...but it was over a few years ..that ...I had to be put on this many meds ....due to events I went through ....and I brok and ended up in hospital ...and they had to give me ect ..because I was going dowen to far to fast ...................so to find the meds that are right for you it takes time ...I would suggest you ..go slow ...one med at a time ...and ..you will have to see how the sidefects afect you ...if the one isent enough ...they can add a nother ....so they have ...room to ..move ..as far as getting you the right meds ..........one of my meds I forgot is for angizity ....and that is seperate from depreshion ...so if you take angizity attacks ...that would be very helpful .......just because you go on meds doesent mean that you will have to stay on meds for the rest of your life ...but ...let the doctor decide that with you ......if you get off to soon you could end up right ware you started ..from ............I am woundering why you belive therapy is a joke ....it is not working for you ...but I would like to understand why ...............................the reason why is ...because ....it is very important ..if we ever want to heal from depreshion for us to talk ......every thing that has ever hurt us in any way needs to come out ...untill it doesent hurt so much any more ...other wise it just keeps building up and at some point somthing has to give ...it will blow up all over you ...and then you could take a break dowen ...I know ....that is what happened ..to me ...if you break ..than it makes it easer for you to break again ...and easer again the next time you don't want to go there .............I have also see pashent so ware ..they were on some meds ...and ...a ect treatment once a month ....and that seamed to work for them ......when I took my break dowen ....I just stoped ..I stoped talking stoped looking at anyone stoped eating stoped getting out of bed ...so my h called the doctor and he aranged to have me see a phicatrist ..and he admitted me right away .....he gave me ect ...because I was going dowen to far to fast ......so ..if I ever needed it again I would take it ..........it was a life saver for me .........so ...that is just a suggestion if you have sxausted ..all the possibilities of meds ...I hope you get some relief realy soon ...take very good care of your self ....God bless