there's this feeling i have at night a lot of the time.  it's awful and hard to describe.  i think it is mainly anger and loneliness and frustration mixed up and in my body if feels really bad and abrasive.  like i don't know, in some ways it's like bugs are crawling inside me or i have this pent up rage/frustration that i can't express or get rid of and it just simmers like some kind of caustic chemical inside my chest.  it feels like things aren't ok, like i'm not even human.  it's really hard to describe.  it feels kind of like sexual frustration, too, but it's more than that. i lay in bed at night just like seething.  it feel like it must be incredibly unhealthy for my body.  but that's how i really feel.  it's real.  it's a reflection i guess of how screwed up things are.  sometimes i can smooth it over with food but that has a downside.  does anyone else feel this way?  liked being really revved up with anger and despair and wanting to do fight or flight but just laying there in bed stewing...  it's awful.  and it's more than that, too, it's almost like i am going completely insane. 

usually during the day when i am at work, it kind of quiets down thank god but i have it almost every night.  i think the main thing is it's a combination of rage and loneliness and sexual frustration...  i don't know.  god i wish i could make it stop.  it's torture.  i thought maybe someone here would understand.  thank you.