Hello I'm a 35 year old male. I have very few friends. I have fast paced intense relationships with women where I can be extremely insecure and can become verbally abusive. At the end of relationships I sometimes have suicidal thoughts which I have never acted on. I take the blame for all of the problems of the relationship and I harass said ex apologizing until I get blocked. I put her on a pedestal like she can do no wrong. She pushes me away because I smother her. I try to control who she sees and where she goes. Again I say that I have never been physically abusive but I know verbal abuse can be just as bad.
I don't like being alone, I am extremely insecure. It's hard to make friends and forge long lasting relationships. My childhood wasn't that great either. I suffer from abandonment issues from when I was a child.
I know all of this makes me look like an evil person but I can't control these powerful emotions. I haven't engaged in any physical altercation with anyone. At least I can say that. I am going to see about scheduling an appointment with my therapist
Oh yeah I'm also bipolar. That's how I found out about BPD.
The therapist hasn't mentioned it to me either but I have only seen her 3 times and she's still trying to make sure that I have a bipolar disorder which she is 90% sure that I do. I also have a hard time with my self identity.

So my question is what are the possibilities of me having BPD?
I know that you can only give me your own opinion. I'm going to wait to see my therapist for a definite prognosis and posible treatment. BPD and a Bipolar kicker sucks if that is what I'm suffering from. The mania that I've been suffering from intensifies all of my emotions on top of what I think may be BPD.
I'm just asking for your opinion. Thank you.
Posted on 08/23/15, 02:45 pm
I only ask about this here because depression plays a huge role in this mental disease.