Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
today we took the paperwork to the courthouse and I've cried harder than I ever have in this process. For those that did not see my previous post- my husband had stopped being intimate with me, after months of that I had an affair and got pregnant. Yes, very wrong of me. We lost communication and intimacy.. another person came along willing and I took it and I know I should not have.. And of course baby daddy has made no effort..... this is what I get i keep telling myself..... Just to know Im officially no longer a married woman... makes me feel dead. These whole months since I realized I was pregnant have been a nightmare and knew I would lose him... so didnt tell him til I was 3 months along... and then two months later he has made it final. Im due in Sept and have no idea how I can do this alone...memories of him and I flood my every thought and how I just want him. I have to think of the baby now though and move on with life and care for him and love him... this depresses me too as I am afraid of failure.... but (ex)husband this morning was talking to me a bit before work.. and said "you have always been determined and strong willed.. I know you will get through this and do whatever you need to do for the baby".... we have not spoken much and that vote of confidence from him did touch me... he says he doesnt hate me, but needs to move on with life.... all i can do is remember his laugh, smile, the good times and children WE should be having..... but he officially moves into his new apartment in aprox two weeks and then who knows if i will see him again but this is not what i wanted of life. I keep praying for understanding and guidance.... i have moments of hope. but the depression overwhelms me....
I can't even focus at work today... i only slept few hrs last night.. took me long time to pull myself outta bed and my car when I got to work... I know this long weekend I will spend most of it immobilized in bed... tears keep coming... I can't focus or bring myself out of this.. miss him want him so ashamed and disbelief this happened in life still
That could happen anytime, .. anyway. He is/should be obligated .. to AT LEAST financially support.
I think you should do what other poster suggested as well and ASK him why the intimacy faded. Seems he quickly went to a divorce and knew that he could not live with anothers child...so TO ME...and only me...he did not truly love you to begin with. If he did....he possibly would have taken a separation to weed his thoughts,
And for better or for worse...means just that. This falls in the category of worse. Maybe your marriage would have suffered after this and been unhappy anyway. Your crying over what should have been correct? It wasn't that way...it doesn't seem he loved you as much as you loved him.
I would learn from this that my next relationship if I feel distant....I tell that person I feel distant and figure it out from there. Your marriage was obviously not making you happy.
I think you feel so much guilt and that he has found the perfect time to escape the marriage. I'm not sure that it is hurting him as deeply..since he didn't seem to be "so into you" in your marriage.
This weekend...try to connect with people that understand you....try to NOT stay in bed and dwell because it won't change anything.
Even thou I hated my X....when I got divorce papers I cried....I filed for the divorce...but the finalization...is a sad point in time. The end of an era. But it did not end my world. I have had many good and bad experiences since then.
Your human...yea, you didn't handle your feelings about the intimacy with your husband before moving on...but that does not make you a devil..it made you vulnerable....and I really think your husband is not that disappointed....so give yourself a break from the guilt....maybe he should be feeling some guilt for neglecting his wife.
He has a right to see the child if he wants to...you can state your case to the court about how he has treated you since you got pregnant...but I don't think it will matter....this is about the child knowing Dad and Mom.
Regardless of how you feel about him....the child deserves to know and spend time with Dad...if Dad is willing.
He has to pay.
GBU
D
;-O