Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi, I was directed here by someone from the helpline because that's where I'm at with my life. I don't even know where to begin. I went away to college in the fall of 2017 and I had an awful time, and I ended up dropping out. At the time my mom told me she would never forgive me for dropping out, I don't know if her feelings have changed or if she is still mad at me for it. In February of 2018, on my birthday, we received a letter that said our house had been foreclosed and we would have to leave. My parents both kind of shut down and I was left to pack up our entire house and help my sisters pack their rooms and we moved into a rental house that May. The landlords wouldn't allow us to bring our two cats, so I had to bring them to the SPCA and surrender them. That fall I enrolled in community college and this past December I graduated with an associate's degree in visual art. I have been looking for a job for the past year at this point (since I got my own car) and I have not been able to find anything, and I'm talking about just minimum wage stuff, McDonald's, CVS, etc. I think my parents feel like I am just a loser now that I have been out of school for a few months with no job, but I don't know how to try any harder with the way I feel. At this point, I am just completely hopeless, and I don't know how to communicate that to anyone who can help me in a way that will be taken seriously. I am just getting to that point where I am afraid because I don't know how I will ever get past this. I see nothing for myself in the future, I have run out of hope and dreams and goals, none of those things seem worth it anymore. I also feel like I can't talk to anyone in real life about these things because I will get too emotional. I can barely say hello to my parents without almost bursting into tears. I think the best word to describe how I feel is just completely broken. Recently, after about 6 years without hurting myself, I have started again because I am just running out of ways to cope with all of this (and more.) I want help, I want to say anything to anyone at this point and I want someone to help me, I need someone to take me seriously and help me.
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It's National Doughnut Day!Which three would you like? (never mind the calories, fat, or sugar content; just go with what you would pick if none of that mattered and whatever health issues you might have that would keep you from eating one in real life can be cast aside for this exercise as well... have at it!)
Job. Getting a job in visual arts is going to be tough. It is a tough market right now. How does your resume look? You need to be in the field and known people in the visual arts. Get on LinkedIn and find your peers in visual arts. Cold call some companies and ask for career advice on how you get a job in visual arts. How good is your elevator speech? How well do you do in an interview? PM me and we can talk more on this. I have a lot of experience in this.
Stop hurting yourself. I have done this and it never ended up well. I drop 75 lbs and nearly put myself into the hospital for forced feeding. I was crying out for help and I was not being heard. You are being heard now and you need professional mental health help to take the next step.
As to school, people do leave and there's no shame. I know someone who left school early, poor grades, etc, worked hard, and now has a beautiful 3/4 million dollar house and earns substantial 6 figures. Part of life is learning, doing better, and going beyond past challenges.
I do understand people say the job market is hard. That said, I've hired people on the spot and seen a lot of poor resumes and presentations.
1. Check and redo your resume. Get candid feedback from at least 5 people if possible.
2. If you're in visual arts, do you have a professionally looking page or website.
Don't have anything publicly available on social media that could put you in a poor light. One potential employee in 2016 had a big 'lock her up" sign about Hillary Clinton on her Facebook page. When I called another, her father answered and said he didn't want to talk to any salesmen. What your prospective employer should see on public pages, is a professional appearance and perhaps a post discussing how you look forward to your position in visual arts.
3. Be professional in the interview. You can talk about challenges here, and its hopefully a supportive environment. But please don't discuss personal problems, issues in the interview,- you're there to explain your skills and why you're a hard-working person who will exceed expectations.
4. If you get to a 3rd interview, consider this if you understand what the job entails. Bring to the interview a 6 month action plan explaining what you will do at 1, 3, and 6 month intervals. Research your company, explain how you're the person to meet their needs.
As to your parents, you need to take a driver's test to get a license, but there's nothing required to be a parent. Some are dysfunctional, but please don't let them define you.
Good luck and our prayers are with you.
My problem as far as jobs go right now is that I do not have any experience to put on a resume, that's actually another thing that really bothers me about my parents. I was supposed to live on campus my last semester and work at the dorm building as a front desk assistant, I moved in, went through training and moved all of the students in and then I had to quit and move out because my student loan couldn't go through because my dad has messed up his, my moms and my grandmothers credit scores so bad that none of them can cosign.
My other problem with finding a job is that I can't even get an interview, I have applied to entire shopping centers and heard nothing back. Out of the dozens (maybe even 100) places I have applied to I have had one call me about an interview. I missed the call and called back right away (not even half an hour later) and left a message saying that I was available for an interview pretty much whenever and gave my number for him to call back and I never heard anything.
Also, I don't know how it is for other majors, but they really do not tell you what you can do with a visual arts degree, I do not even know where to begin looking for jobs, I don't know what I qualify for with just an associates.
And yes Bobby, I do have a website, as well as an Instagram page for my art. My mom is convinced that I can't get a job because I don't do well on those little quizzes they have you do about like your personality and stuff. And if that's the case, then Idk what to do about that, like that is something I just can't change because it's questions about my thoughts and stuff. I can't train myself to be a risk-taker and someone who is ok with not finishing things on time if I'm not. But then again, maybe my mom is just being mean and is completely wrong and those quizzes don't matter that much, I don't know.
Also, to find someone that can listen, I encourage you to try and get into a counselor/therapist/psychologist/whatever.
A pro can help navigate these waters.
1. Have you had friends review your resume and cover letter, providing candid comments and feedback. I note your original post is a long paragraph and that would be unsatisfactory to me as an employer. Likewise, if the writing was similar I might not give you an interview. (just being honest).
2. Research Have you investigated the company and the position. I have a family member who is quite successful, a senior vice-president at a major corporation before 30, getting a job over 100 applicants. But he does not send a bunch of resumes but works to understand the position, and contours a resume and cover letter for the job. Walking into the job interview, he had carefully reviewed the company's public filing and spoke of the different things they were doing which impressed the interviewer.
Imagine a cover letter that noted some salient points about the company's direction and explained how you could play a part.
3. Visual art Forgive me for lack of familiarity but is visual art, graphics art. Can you create and revise a website, do you have reasonably familiarity with programs like WordPress. Working on marketing in my business, I do know there is a tremendous demand for reasonably priced, skilled webdesigners who have a basic familiarity with SEO (search engine optimization).
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3. Hey, I'm sorry about your mother. My mother can also be quite critical, but I got beyond it- realizing I do not need her approval or validation.
The corona pandemic has turned the spotlight on the industries that, regardless of current events, are deemed "essential". Manufacturing, supply chain, financial services, medical, etc.
When selecting a degree program, you should have an idea of what you want to do with it. You should have some idea of the employment opportunities available to you. Good luck.