Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Depression sucks one day you're walking along and bam... you get a feeling... but you shake it off. "I'm good".... you keep walking... bam a glimpse of the shadow... you shake it off.. keep walking and going about life bam! Now it's on your back.. you manage to only allow it to hit you when you want it to since it keeps coming back... so you choose your room at night under covers to hide your sobs. But you wake up and put the face back on and push onward. Then bam! You're not keeping your temper anymore... you're house is a disaster and you still have the screaming children running around like wild animals to take care of... but try to tell yourself one more day just please one more day and maybe it will go away... now the shadow has engulfed you almost entirely but you have two sparks of light to think about and you only hold on for them... but even that is a stretch... since now you've lost another income and gained more bills... meaning you can't afford food for your sparks of light or clothes or the roof over their head... you would at least be worth more dead than alive the shadow whispers... your family only talk to you when they need something. Your friends don't need you... not that you have any to begin with... the constant bickering in your head.. the urge to resort to old habits to feel physical pain vs just imaginary pain no one can see... you pray you beg you try to survive the shadow.. but in the end the shadow is still there.. taunting, laughing. Winning. Yeah depression sucks this is only half of what I wanted to say... but yeah... why am I fine one day but thinking of dying the next and feeling the shadow so strong that my heart almost physically hurts?
I wish I knew, today is a down day for me too. I feel for you.
These things are all there for you to grow. Life gets harder, and more demanding. If you don't acknowledge the issues when they come at you , they don't go away. They grow in the dark like mushrooms.
I don't know if you live in a country where people dry their laundry on the line outside, but did you know that sunlight kills things? It kills fleas, it kills nits, it kills bed bugs, and it kills germs.
It also kills secrets, and lies, and hidden issues.
You have to start pulling things out of the box and looking at them in the daylight. some will disappear. Some will grow. some will change. But they will all begin to make sense, and as they make more and more sense the depression lifts.
Depression isn't a disease. It's a habit. It's a way of living. It's a failure to emotionally process.
JMHO of course.
Try journaling here privately or for feedback to process the emotions and toxic thoughts tied to them.
Idk how close you are to your friends but maybe you should ask for help from them. Try asking if they can help you out with your daughter or help you get another job, if that's what income you lost. On top of that, try to talk to a food pantry and/or SNAP again to get some food home. Or maybe move in with some roommates who you could trust to down your cost for rent. That would be very helpful