Anna1212,

You are not alone. I hear you and I love you even though I don't know you. Do not give up. It takes courage to reach out especially after someone rejects you. I don't even know why I have a phone - people are busy, they don't get it, etc. It's a terrible feeling to be lost and alone. I just had a similar experience. I opened up to someone and at the end of a conversation faced serious rejection. Please, you are worth loving. This so-called friend of yours is the one who should be sad for not seeing you for who you are. It hurts, I know, but there is someone better for you. Keep going. I would guess you're a compassionate person, am I right? The world needs you, I swear.

Anna1212,

You are not alone. I hear you and I love you even though I don't know you. Do not give up. It takes courage to reach out especially after someone rejects you. I don't even know why I have a phone - people are busy, they don't get it, etc. It's a terrible feeling to be lost and alone. I just had a similar experience. I opened up to someone and at the end of a conversation faced serious rejection. Please, you are worth loving. This so-called friend of yours is the one who should be sad for not seeing you for who you are. It hurts, I know, but there is someone better for you. Keep going. I would guess you're a compassionate person, am I right? The world needs you, I swear.

I understand your predicaments. I too have no energy due to chronic illnesses, work, school, family and other responsibilities. Sometimes I feel that I have become a machine than a human, an exhausted defective machine at that.

Family, you need them but at certain times, you wish that they would stop fussing and leave you alone. With friends, most regard you as acquaintances than a friend, so you cannot really unload your problems to the other, which is unfair to the other party really, since they hardly know you.

With work, do you really need some form of social connections with your work colleagues, if they are hostile to you? Work is where you would go to conform under the established rules to obtain a reward in a form of remuneration. You would not want to impart your personal secrets to a work colleague as they may use that information to your disadvantage (e.g gossips, personal ridicule, denigration, competition.. in order to deny you opportunities that may help to advance your career).

Perhaps you can join a social support group in your area that does things which coincide with your interest e.g a writing club, church outings, club dances.. For some clubs, you can meet online to make contributions to the group, e.g a writing club where you post your contributions online for the reading public to enjoy.

Does that interest you? Find something that interests you to occupy your time, rather than contemplating on missed opportunities and being depressed from your deliberations.

Thank you so much. Your response made me cry because you get it and said the right things to make me feel better. I do feel so completely alone and lost and scared almost all the time. I feel like a failure for still feeling this way after all these years. I thought by the time I was this age I would have figured some things out. No. I think past abuse has this huge lingering affect on people. That's not the only thing but I think my family really screwed me up. I've been in therapy but that usually winds up making me feel worse. I need some human contact that is good and positive. I get that here and appreciate it so much. I don't why people in the real world or whatever or so cruel. I see them be nice to each other and then just turn around and speak really mean to me or ignore me or whatever. Like I'm nothing. It really hurts. I try to ignore it but sometimes I can't. Thank you again for your kind words. It helps to know people understand.

Anna1212, Does anyone really have anything figured out? If so, they should share some tips. Lol.

I agree - I recently recognized how much things from my past were really affecting me. I thought I had it handled, thought I'd let things go, but it turns out I was just probably ignoring them and not processing these things. It's hard. I have felt therapy made things worse too, but I recently connected with a provider I really like and that makes a huge difference. Can you narrow in on what/why is making you feel worse? Do you feel your provider understands and is supportive? Does he/she have a background in the issues you are looking to address (past trauma/abuse perhaps?)? Have you checked out the providers on www.EMDRIA.org? I've heard EMDR can be very helpful for some people/situations.

Andromeda8, very true as well. Family can be loving but overbearing or make you feel alone and misunderstood when they don't mean to. Sometimes someone more objective (e.g., a therapist) is more helpful. And you're so on the mark about work. You want to think the best of people, but experience has shown exactly what you're pointing out. Such a shame really. If you have any online clubs you'd recommend, please do :) There's not much out my way versus some of the cities I've lived in.

There are hundreds of writing clubs online. Just google "writing club online" and the state that you lives in, and hundreds of entries come out. But here is the link to one:

https://www.writersdigest.com/be-inspired/top-websites-for-writers-10-online-writing-communities

Some charges you a minimal subscription fee, others for free. Check it out and see if they inspire your creative juice !

I'm one to keep to myself and have reached out to make friends as well, and was let down. Making friends take time and we need to realize that we all are struggling to cope. Getting to know people start with small conversations over time and those conversations will help us tell if we have something in common with each other. I only have a few best friends in my circle, and those relationships took years to build. They all started out with small conversations. Consider donating your time to help out those in need through a church or local organization. Helping others is a way that I interact with people I don't know, and it brings me joy to help.

Exhaustion is real. You are a real, feeling person. This is not the end of the story. Things will get better. Is there anyone who can help with the work load and give you some relief? We are here for you to vent anytime you need to. I hope you are feeling better in this moment right here.

Anna, you are valuable and you have worth. Other people... we are all very faulty and certainly can all be trying for better. Find an escape for yourself in anonymity online, so you can express yourself freely.