Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have been struggling with depression and what my doctor will only define as "mood disorder" for seven years. My doctor announced this year that she feels it is time for me to accept that medication is going to be a more permanent part of my life. She knew that I intended to be married, but I never thought to ask about a referral to a counselor to understand how my problems will affect my marriage, and now I am paying the price. I have not been very active on DailyStrength because we've had some serious difficulties recently and my husband isn't comfortable with the idea of me seeking emotional support from strangers outside of a professional setting.
When my husband makes a promise, because I am so emotionally . . . unbalanced, I tend to feel as though it is the end of the world if he breaks it. I know, logically, that this is not true. I know that people break promises to each other regularly, and they move on. I am having difficulty reconciling these heavy emotions without slipping into a more depressed state. My husband has a great fondness for an "activity" that makes me very uncomfortable, due to childhood difficulties. I attempted to change how I feel about this and become more tolerant because he informed me that it would always be part of his life. I am more accepting, but we recently came to an agreement because I felt his participation in this "activity" was out of hand. He promised to partake in this "activity" once a month only. He did well, but over the month of December he broke that promise and enjoyed his "activity" three times instead of the one that we agreed upon. He sees nothing wrong with this - this is, he feels, a situation that he can just apologize for and move on. This is not the first time he has broken a promise related to this activity, but the last time I really got out of control and that was why we reached this agreement. I was really hoping that he could stick with it.
Are my depression and mood disorder causing me to take this too seriously? Sometimes I can't tell if I'm reacting to things right because I feel SO MUCH all the time. I'm struggling tonight with the heavy weight of anxiety and that deep sadness and hopelessness. School starts in a few weeks and I can't agonize over this forever. I need to start preparing myself mentally and emotionally, not focusing on something that is apparently really trivial. How do I cope with this overreaction? Am I overreacting at all? If you have the time to offer advice on this issue, I would really appreciate it, and apologize sincerely for my lack of participation on this website.
When my husband makes a promise, because I am so emotionally . . . unbalanced, I tend to feel as though it is the end of the world if he breaks it. I know, logically, that this is not true. I know that people break promises to each other regularly, and they move on. I am having difficulty reconciling these heavy emotions without slipping into a more depressed state. My husband has a great fondness for an "activity" that makes me very uncomfortable, due to childhood difficulties. I attempted to change how I feel about this and become more tolerant because he informed me that it would always be part of his life. I am more accepting, but we recently came to an agreement because I felt his participation in this "activity" was out of hand. He promised to partake in this "activity" once a month only. He did well, but over the month of December he broke that promise and enjoyed his "activity" three times instead of the one that we agreed upon. He sees nothing wrong with this - this is, he feels, a situation that he can just apologize for and move on. This is not the first time he has broken a promise related to this activity, but the last time I really got out of control and that was why we reached this agreement. I was really hoping that he could stick with it.
Are my depression and mood disorder causing me to take this too seriously? Sometimes I can't tell if I'm reacting to things right because I feel SO MUCH all the time. I'm struggling tonight with the heavy weight of anxiety and that deep sadness and hopelessness. School starts in a few weeks and I can't agonize over this forever. I need to start preparing myself mentally and emotionally, not focusing on something that is apparently really trivial. How do I cope with this overreaction? Am I overreacting at all? If you have the time to offer advice on this issue, I would really appreciate it, and apologize sincerely for my lack of participation on this website.
I don't see the problem with reaching out for support if you need it. Do you have friends or family you could talk to? How would he feel if you reached out to them? Maybe you feel uncomfortable discussing your issues with friends and family. Anonymous support brought me here. Sometimes you just need an encouraging word.
MoronLessOff, I thought. . .at first I did feel like we needed to discuss the issue again. And then I just let myself get so upset and depressed over his lack of response. He simply didn't care when I confronted him, claimed that he would make mistakes and he felt like it wasn't a big deal because he would go back to his "activity" once a month. And that's when I started questioning my own very emotional reaction to this. Don't people break promises to each other often? Should I be more lenient? We're very young. He's only twenty-six, and neither of us have been married before. I'm just worried that I'm overreacting. We've fought terribly over this issue before, and I'd rather not travel that road again.
As for support, I think he's worried that I'll stop being so anonymous. I suppose it's very embarrassing for him. We don't fuss or argue, even a little, in public or around family because he feels it isn't acceptable behavior. I feel like I'm a burden to my few friends, and my family. . .I'm not very close to them. And I'm not really a driver or very independent. I'm sort of afraid they might step out of line and get involved, because this is an ongoing problem. I was so relieved when I discovered DailyStrength, but my anxiety over disappointing him makes it difficult to be open or really part of the community.
Thank you so much.
IT is boring, but "Recovery" with Abraham Lowe really helped me through rough spots.
The other day, on the train from Richmond, VA to DC, my daughter and my husband spent an hour in the cafe on the train. I have abandonment issues and a special needs son (not too bad, just a tad bit special needs). I was scared but I had to do the "Bear the discomfort to gain comfort" and tell myself that "feelings aren't facts." Ugh!
But also, check with the doctor about klonapin and other anti anxiety drugs. In combo with Dialectical Behavioral talk Therapy, they work fairly well and you might not need them forever.
Sometimes, you have to sit down and just really tell the guy an "When you--I feel---because" and then you aren't trying to be rude or anything but just really need him to listen. I have a very good husband, but even he doens't get the message sometimes.