Starting to feel like my illness is seeping into all areas of my life. My symptoms include: overeating, feeling disgusted with myself for overeating, withdrawing at work, suicidal thoughts, feeling so anxious that my body is permanently tensing up (tightness in my jaw and chest and legs), anger that others don't understand what I'm going through, low sex drive, needing so much sleep, it's so difficult to get out of bed in the morning or get up early, feeling guilty for disappointing my husband because I have a low sex drive and terrible mood swings, self-hatred, not feeling confident around other people, constantly worrying, stomach problems from stress/overeating, not wanting to work out, (and when I finally do work out, its never good enough, I could always do more/be more in shape), seeing others living their best lives and feeling so pissed that I can't have that, I don't even know what life without a mental illness would even look like because I've been struggling with this for 11 years now off and on, side effects from taking medications, feeling bad for not taking medications, drinking to numb the pain, but then drinking makes me even more depressed/anxious, constantly wishing I was better (happier, fitter, thinner, more confident, more assertive, better at my job, a better wife, a better friend...) I can't win and I'm so done with all of it. My mind is telling me right now to suck it up, maybe I'm being overly dramatic, why can't I just be happier, it shouldn't be this hard...