Depression sucks ass! Here is my version of Depression.

Pointlessness, a constand feeling of being horrified beyond beleif, an intense feeling of the absolute end. Waking up and not being able to get out of bed, every second of everyday is a battle to survive your horrifying feelings. You can't think straight, it's not about personal strength or being weak, it is an illness that swallows your life. You are trapped in the coldest, most pointless hell. You feel the immence indifference of the world. Your world stands still and every object you see, every person you see, sends you a feeling that you are worthless and no body cares. Mental terror- seems like it will never ever ever go away. You want to do something about it but you are tied up. It is anger without the enthusiasm. Sadness without the comfort of tears. You just stare, and feel the most hollow, scarey feeling, your spirit dies, your passion dies, the joy you once had seems like somebody elses. You want to duck tape yourself to your bed, never eat, and smoke a pack of cigarettes. Nothing, even comforting words from your mother and supportive friends come across as overwhelmingly meaningless. Every sound is annoying, melodies of songs scare you. Smells make you weak. You force down your food, you force out your words, going to the bathroom is a chore. You want to rott and you hate every second of it. You realize how it feels to be the homeless, to have no heart, to have to much of a heart. You self sabotage yourself with every thought and word, you don't grow until afterwards, while you are in it you drop to the bottom and can't figure anything out and if you try you fall faster. Going outside out of your apartment would take extreme courage. You look at the ground as you walk, you don't look up cause your spirit will crumble, you want to be normal, you want to be a good person, but you can't cause you are SICK, just as sick as someone with cancer or aids but it is in your head, you can't look at anyone in the eye, you stare at there neck and hope the moment is over soon. All you can do is bare down, and eat the shit sandwich that is your life. Day after day, night after night repeat, right when you think you may be feeling a little better, you are hit even harder with eternal pointlessness and horror. POINTLESS!, ugly, the word'sad' doesn't come close. The word 'depressed' sounds like a holiday. For someone who hasn't felt it before a tiny taste of it would be unbeleivable, the worst feelings all rolled into one big indifferent horror movie, with a really weak plot, with bad production, pitiful acting, the movie lasts for months and months, and you can't walk out. watch and wait longer than you thought possible, then watch and wait more with a subtle yet intense mental anguish. Hang on................

How are you doing?
Not very good, i am depressed, and i no longer feel i am living.

Sorry you are feeling the depths of hell with the depression. I hope that it will pass. If you need anything ... please let me know. *HUGS*

very well said,sorry your feeling this way though

Are you taking any medication for your anxiety?

You almost have a poem with your descriptions of depression. I took the liberty of pulling a few of your descriptions and rearranged one or two, I hope you dont mind.

Sadness without
comfort of tears
You just stare,
feel the most hollow
scary feeling, your spirit dies,
your passion dies,
the joy you once had

overwhelmingly meaningless
sound is annoying
force out your words
to have no heart
You want to rott
eternal pointlessness and horror

Your descriptions are very accurate/astute.

This is my description of life, as you can tell it is also about depression. Well I guess if it werent for the depression and my facing up to it I never would have realized that this is how I viewed life. It also was 2 B a poem but I am lazy in that kind of way and just never got around 2 it.


As I ride this serpent of time, in these waters of life, I contemplate my comprehension of life. The complexities of right and wrong, left and right, back and forth, yes these as time are concepts. Concepts of knowledge, concepts of life. Knowing that I never asked to be here as you never asked, but here we are, flowing with time. We are like as to water. Water that floods, water that nourishes, water that destroys. We are a force of time and knowledge...(damm it, I just can't seem to get it back)........ a force of the now and of the past, to repeat in a different form the lies of which we believe. Lies of our fathers in which we live, lies of our mothers in which we revel, lies of our sisters and brothers in which we stand, lies of our self's in which we believe.

We say we are yet we are not. We have force, yet it is applied not knowingly. Not knowingly as to which way to go, but knowingly unto which way not to go, yet, we head with the flow and turn into a force. A force of vapor, a force of rain, a force of flow, and a force of the sea
.
Such is our cycle, we are born then we fall, fall'n from the sky and returned to our home of which we were born of, the sea. traveling through the conceptual heavens we change but remain the same. Though never to repeat, we always are. Never to repeat the same yet never to change. It is I and it is you.

This sea spawns corrupt as it spawns perfection. It is in this conceptual sea of which I was born and must return as I travel this vapor of life....


Don't give up, think of yourself as a flower, though with out son shine and rain you still live, while waiting for the new dawn and spring rains.

take care

dammit sorry suzy I got your post and shooting's mixed up...crap I should have skipped the coffy and went 4 the beer! Nothing worse than a wide awake idiot who hasn't had his mornning beer yet.

Here is my depresion poem, just made it:

I'm in a cage of crippled being. Unable to breathe normally.. jealous of other's breath. Memories of my younger breath and feeling like my breath will never come back to me before my death.

I'm so locked up, and fragile. So worried. Worried about worrying. Depressed because any hope is shattered when I get up from my chair, walking like an 80 year old man who is near death from a lack of air.

When I feel hints of healing, just a little stress throws me back into the cage of despair, gutted and gasping for air.

-Nicolaas Van de Houten

Depression for me is being disabled, where I use to be a very active person.

I can't walk a few yards without pain now.

I sleep little for the same reason and have no sex life with my husband.

I have no future.

Oh Suzy thank you so much for this post and to all that replied, My boyfriend of 11 years has a hard time dealing with my depression and just doesn't understand how people get there and are so withdrawn, I let him read this hop-
ing to give him more understanding, he seems to get it more after reading other peoples struggle and every thing he read he said thats you. I am really greatful for all of you here, this brings better understaning here at home.As we all take it one day at a time,someday we pray to feel better.
Thanks again Suzy this was really helpful.
Im sending you prayers and hugs.
God Bless You and hang in there.xoxoxoxooxo

people, your replies make me want to cry, just knowing there ar other peole out there who feel at least as bad as me.some of you have nicely wished that i feel better soon but this is my life, my everday for the past 18months. to whoever asked i am on meds for anxiety but its a fine balance between something that works without really bad side effects. so i can only have a low dose, and im in therapy. i do know the reasons for my anxiety but that doesnt mean i can cope with it.