If he is not ready to stop his addictions, I hate to tell you, things will not change without a desire from him to change!

There is no one thing that works best for depression from my experience. Sometimes I need to be alone, sometimes I need someone to talk to, sometimes I need to listen to music, sometimes I need to write. Sometimes I need to cry, sometimes I need to laugh. Each person will have different ways of dealing with it, I just try to make sure I don't hurt anyone else along the way. If you've tried already multiple times to help him, you might want to seek professional help if that has not been done already.

Ask him if he'd rather be alone. Tell him you are thinking of leaving him. That should get his attention. And having depression does not mean it's okay to hurt or ignore others. It does not justify it.

I hope you can find away to reach him. I do not know what is troubling your husband, but there is definitely something there that he feels that he can not discuss with you. I recently went through the exact same thing with my wife. I have been dealing with depression my entire life. It literally has ruined my life. My depression led me to porn. The porn got worse over time. Not saying that what happened to me, will happen to your husband, but if he does not start talking to someone soon, it will consume him. I'm also pretty sure he does not want "to be alone".

I was happily married to the woman of my dreams, but I had a dark past that haunted me. I never told the one person that I was supposed to be able to tell anything and everything to. I felt that there was no one I could talk to, and it literally ate me up inside. Porn can be just a way of coping with depression. I know it sounds awful, but it happens way more than you might think. Because I never sought help, or discussed my problems and depression, the porn took a turn for the worse. I'm disgusted with myself about it. I lost everything, my wife, my kids, my job, my friends, etc...
It all could've been prevented if only I had just talked to someone about "the things that I can't talk about".
My advice, is to continue to try and reach him. Please. There maybe more to his depression. I was also an addict/alcoholic. Don't yell and try not to show frustration. Show deep concern. I'm sorry if I may just sound like I'm just rambling, but your story just sounded so much like my own, from the "wife's" perspective.

How do I put this. Depression isn't a get out of jail free card. A jerk is a jerk, whether he has depression or not.

Depression isn't how you behave. Depression is an inner hell of what you experience. How you behave is and always remains 100% down to you and what you consider to be acceptable behaviour. Your level of honour, or integrity. That doesn't change.

So if he's being a douche (sounds like it) then that's who he is, depressed or not. And if he's depressed he might want to stop being a douche and see if that helps.

Be careful to distinguish those who SAY they are depressed from those who genuinely ARE depressed.

There's a HUGE difference in how they act.

and my personal advice is that he is going to suck your life right out of you, saying he is depressed, and you will eventually actually become depressed for real, and you won't ever get any care from him because he will assume you're faking it to get what you want, the same way he is.

You are the host and he is the parasite. RUN FOR THE HILLS. :)