Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
So a few years ago I moved schools. I was 13 with already severe anxiety and this event triggered the depression. I had no friends and no one was interested in talking to the chubby new girl who wore long sleeves.
I was sitting in class when the group of popular kids turned to me and went, "you're Mexican right? So you agree with us?" I had no idea what they were talking about but I went along with it and said yes, "see! All Mexican parents use a flip flop on their kids!" So there began the lie that would ruin my high school life.
It's almost junior year and every time my friends make a joke about my mom using a flip flop on me I am overwhelmed with guilt. My mother is amazing and would never do that. She's not even Mexican! The guilt has pushed me into depression and I realize that that year I had a Compulsive lying disorder. As I told lies such as "I'm not a virgin" and "Ive had a pot brownie before" and stupid shit like that to fit in.
After telling my best friend that that was a lie, it's only made me feel worse. And I can't find anyone to talk to so I can get through this.
-
It's National Doughnut Day!Which three would you like? (never mind the calories, fat, or sugar content; just go with what you would pick if none of that mattered and whatever health issues you might have that would keep you from eating one in real life can be cast aside for this exercise as well... have at it!)
In new zealand we tell lies as pretty much a national sport. It's not expected to be telling the truth, it's a form of joking. So... over here you would be fine. I think you should go tell your mother about the flipflop story. I think she will laugh, tbh. I would laugh.
As to the kids at school? make up more stories. Make up whoppers so large, they realise you're lying. That's how it's done here. Oh yes, my mother beats me with a flip flop. Oh man, she ordered a size 13 men's online so she could beat me harder. Yeah I remember when she got a rotary flipflop that beats me sixteen times a second... whatever. I know those options were lame, you have to think of something better. Something funny. Take the story and run forwards with it. Don't run away from it. Run further with it.
But do talk to mum. She'll think it's adorable. She won't be able to stop giggling. Not just at the story, nor at the opportunity to now beat you with flipflops - but also with joy that her baby girl loves her enough to carry that burden for years. Maybe she can think of some other jokes to tell. I still tell terrible jokes at work "don't put me in the cellar again mummy!" comes out now and again. Nobody expects it to be true. It's just a story.
Your mama's big and strong. She can handle all the grievous rumours about beating you to death with a jandal. In fact, if you were in New Zealand, and I were your mother, I would immediately launch into the story of your big brother and how I used to beat him with the fish slice... and you'd say 'what big brother' and then the whole family would turn and stare at you ominously and say 'oh nobody'... and make out by 'accidentally letting it slip' that there'd been an elder brother who I'd killed with a fish slice one day who was buried under the house, and this was why I only ever used a flip flop on you....
You know. Lies. Terrible terrible lies. For sport.
I think the stuff kids are peer pressured into saying as kids doesn't count as a moral crime. What you do with it is chalk it up to loneliness, and desperation. And of course realise that it doesn't work to make people admire you. But it's better surely to be that kid who says 'yeah sure I've had hash brownies haw haw haw' who gets a smallish eye-roll from people, than to be that ghastly loud one proclaiming 'i'd never do that that's not good for you and it's against the law!' who gets the MASSIVE eyeroll and never invited to parties.
As you gain confidence you will learn to just say mildly 'no, not yet, got any I can try?' and then you'll know you've made it. Your friends don't require you to be knowing and experienced; they just need you to be accepting of them and generally speaking humble. And not going to wreck their fun or call the cops or dob them in to their parents or any of that. you don't actually have to partake if you don't want to: you just give the idea that you would, and then they don't feel like they have to jettison you or risk getting in trouble when they do naughty stuff.