Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

24,601 Members
160,807 Posts
0 Online
Mental Health
/ Depression Support Group

Depression?Depersonalization?Spiritual crisis?

Help_me_Jesus
Help_me_Jesus

Hi there,


For those of you that "know" me you are familiar with my issues about mental health and spirituality. Today, I took a different approach for my feelings of being "trapped, depersonalized, and spiritually afflicted" and saw a neurologist. His opinion was interesting and provided another road to healing. This all seemed to bring some hope...


Until today when I was home trying to fill out the survey for his practice. I just freaked out. No other way to explain. I got up from the couch and started balling! Tears tears and more tears. Crying so hard and loud, repeating over and over MOM,MOM, MOM HELP ME! ...I live alone. I just kept crying and all I could do was look in the mirror and wail out loud for my mom, at the same time trying to figure out WHO I AM. 


I have absolutely no clue what is going on with me. I feel like I have died and my body is just here on earth. I feel like a dead saint. I feel like the real me is in a comma and everyone is waiting for me to wake up and come back to life... 


NOTHING makes sense. I am Christian so I don't believe I am trapped in an alternate universe but that's really what it feels like. I was driving balling and screaming out loud, which most people would say that is VERY unsafe, but I have control in a weird way. Anyway, I just feel like I am trapped in a bubble unable to communicate effectively with the outside world. 


I still can't look people in the eyes. I feel like I'm in my own universe, trapped...trying to coexist with this world. It's physically impossible! 


I really have no clue what the hell is going on. I want to sleep forever. I am so ready to go HOME and be with my FATHER IN HEAVEN. I know people suffer from extreme losses and things that I will never be able to relate to...but this EXPERIENCE of "life" for me is suffering like no other. 


If anyone can relate to ANYTHING I have said I would love to hear. 


Thank you and God bless,


Carina

RJW
RJW
Thank you for sharing, Carina. I definitely do understand, though things are always different because each person is uniquely different. Depression mixes with Anxiety and that can cause a mental shutdown. It is the brain and mind protecting itself by involuntarily shutting down. This causes many of the zombie dream symptoms. Notice when with less worry or Anxiety, that you kind of felt better. Anxiety out of the blue is a Panic Attack. That panic can overwhelm your brain leading it to be exhausted, thus causing a shut down. It can feel like being asleep, while still awake. We will go Home, but not before we serve our greater purpose on this Earth. I am very excited to know of your great purpose, since you are enduring a great amount to get there. You are in my prayers. Thank you and God Bless.
shadowlady
shadowlady
Hi, Honey,
I second everything Piece by Piece said. I too lost my dad only a few weeks ago and felt some of the symptoms you describe (I wanted to be in Heaven with him too). I think grief causes different reactions in people. But, like said a,d which I believe too, we have to stay here until God is ready for us to come to Him. I gain much comfort from The Psalms and writing in a journal. I'll keep you in prayer too. Hang in there. Rest in His love for you. God bless.