I am so sorry you feel this way Hawke. Please go click on the crisis link at the top of the pages here and call a suicide hotline and talk with someone about you are feeling, so you can get some help with your emotions and stress.

Go to a friends house or a public place with people and just not be alone also helps sometimes when I feel suicidal.

its the emotional stress that makes you feel this way and there are things that can be done for this. talk with an adult you trust , or your primary care doctor.

try to be king to yourself.

it's ok.
Everything you feel, and experience is okay. You're going to make it.
Peace be with you

Thank you for sharing. You have shown great strength in seeking help. We (I) care. You are an important person, who is enduring a great deal. Remember how you got through yesterday? That means another day where someone can be fortunate enough to know you. I thank you for that. Please do fight on for we that endure and care. I pray this was of any help. God Bless.

Give yourself some unconditional love- you are a wonderful person and you deserve it. Negative thoughts are not your thoughts, they are triggered by others who have made you feel low and unworthy, or by negative experiences you have been though.. You are amazing and wonderful and posting on here shows that you are looking for help which is commendable. .Your parents may not understand how you are feeling. This is probably an unconscious thing as many people don’t get how depression affects us. Could you talk about it with a counsellor? Did you try that? If not,it’s worth doing. YOU are worth it. LIve this life there’s nothing braver. Life ain’t bloody easy but you are a fantastic part of this world so rock it honey. I’m a living breathing example of someone who was at very low points at times, but times change, the people around you change, circumstances change, and it can start when your view of yourself changes. Remember, your view is YOUR view, not that of your relatives or peers. Get rid of any critical voices in your head. They are not you. Find your authentic voice, I did, I can recommend a bit of meditation, deep breathing and yoga because it clears the mind- it sounds corny but I found my own authentic voice through these and through counselling too. Love yourself first it sure is the greatest

Call the gay/lesbian hotline.

When parents are non-supportive, your experience is nearly universal. Be careful of some other groups. Conversion "therapy" which is an attempt to change the sexual orientation of a person, is still legal in 41 states. The safest place for you to turn to is the GLBTQ hotline, they can then connect you to other safe resources.

I understand how you felt. Everyday now I'm glad I'm alive and wish I have 3 more lives to do all the things I want to do.

But I've Been there. So depressed...the only reason I didn't kill myself as a teen back then was bc my dad died when I was 15, a few hrs after the death of my grandmother. I didn't want my mom to go thru the same ordeal with me. Then at 28, I realized my relationship with my mom is a bit abnormal, and now at 45 fully and finally admit that she is mentally and verbally abusive to me all thru my life. And the reason I was so depressed and wanted to die as a teen mostly bc of her abusiveness and plus the bullying in school. I don't know what the root cause of yr depression but it's good that you posted and reached out for help. Talk, read, therapy or/and do whatever it takes to find out the true cause of yr depression. Make sure you sleep enough. Early bed early rise Will make you a happier person even for a night owl like me. You can train yourself. Most importantly just remember you are wonderful, creative and the most powerful person. Only You and you alone can decide who you are and what you will be. Don't allow other people tell you who you are. You know who you are, just need to listen to the little voice. Look inside yrself, find the inner child hiding in there,, to find out things you do that make you happy/ relaxed...aka your hobbies. If u don't already have one, trying to do different things and follow your heart to find out your passion. Most importantly, get active: biking, running, swimming, yoga, any physical activities will help clear your mind. For me it's swimming, yoga, playing piano, and knittting.... As I entangle the yarns up I somehow untangle my life knots by knots into a beautiful knitted pattern. And the repetiveness of the knitting itself is therapeutic. The piano helped me take out the frustration of school. I banged on it. Good luck and call the hotline. We all care and wish you all the best. Sending love and hugs as well as positive energy to your full life ahead....