So true! Where do you start when you've everything to say? Butterflies are free to fly...

That's OK. It's good to even write one line as a way to reach out for support. Hoping that you are able to feel better and vent whatever is bothering you. You are free to say as much or as little as you want. The people here understand depression and care about you.

I feel the same way. Depression shuts me down, shuts me off, makes me shrink away from the world. But turning inward is the worst thing for me. I need to reach out more. Share myself. Not feel so afraid of my sad thinking. Words can set you free!

I know exactly what you mean goodwitch. A lot of time I will write a few lines and then erase them because I think nobody wants hear the sad & depressed thoughts of an a lonely old man, with life problems.

Like the reruns of issues with the Ex (with whom I divorced 9 years ago, but because I still care, I try to help, but get discouraged because I told her I am not her go to guy & because I am compassionate I feel guilty and a bunch of other unpleasant emotions)( again it is a long story.
See and I almost erased that dribble.

fyi (I did erase 2 paragraphs of me rambling on...)

Please try and have a nice evening, and feel free to message me if you want to vent or anything..

I totalllly get it!!!!!

I have tried to write on days like that and end up crying so much I delete it. Praying for peace in your life.

I'm betting all you guys are interesting and have something to say. That's it. I'm taking the plunge. Hope you'll follow me. I'm doing a manifesto. Look for it!

I have 2 levels of depression.

1 is where I'm a blithering weeping mess and I can't stop talking. I have channeled that into my journal here, thankfully. And it's fascinating to see the things I write later, and remember the level of grief I was in when I wrote them, and realise it's all a dream.

2 is where I just have nothing. That's the really bad level, because housework doesn't get done, I don't shower, it's all I can manage to feed the animals and I fear the day I can't even do that.

but I haven't 'done a number 2' :D for a LONG time now. A year at least. I think no. 2 comes from not being able to bubble up after no. 1.

I visualise an apple in a water barrel. In nature it wants to float at the surface: not above, and not below. That is sane and functioning human life. Sometimes it bobs down or up depending on... things that bash it? But it doesn't stay anywhere for long. And that is a normal person.

And then there's depression. Where you've been pushed down quite far and held for a while. You have to find out what's pushing you down and unsnag yourself. maybe it's a job. maybe it's a marriage. Maybe it's a lack of job or marriage. Who knows. You have to try to unsnag and find out what the problem is. And then you bob back up.