Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Coll 08/02/2018

Hi,

Thanks for reading. It's crazy that I'm typing this 1st thing after waking up, so I guess I need and hope this will bring me some relief.

I joined this site many yrs ago, but slowly started to not use it due to, I notice there not a lot of messaging back & fourth w/ peoples stories. However, I'm trying againg, cuz I see approx 5 prople on here and the last post isn't from 2016! Which is sad. Where has everyone, gone?

I'm a single a mom and have done everything for my girls, w/out any child support, loosing our home after 16 years, was forunate enough to find out about a new apartment complex, being built and was accepted! So we've been here approx. 3.5 yrs.

I feel like I'm literally going crazy, both my girls are now going to attend community college, which is wonderful! However, my one daughter, who was always on top of everything lets boys and unfortunately my passed down anxiety make her procrastinate. School starts in 18 days. And I finally got her to enroll yesterday. I'm so fed up, cuz she has been asked so many, many times to complete grant information, apply to school etc... She didn't do it, but could spend 12 hrs. hanging out w/ this new bf, which is so frustrating as a mom, who wants the best for their child. Both girls, regarding to thier SAT scores, need to take a math placement test. Which the advisor told my daughter, she needs to do this ASAP. Well, huge blow up yesterday, even after I said, you can go rest and take a nap, then start to study off the math websites, the advisor gave to her. On the way home, she said she was tired. NOOOOOOO that was not was what she wanted to hear, she said, just going to the college was overwhelming enough. Which, I get, yes, I'm not attending, but for me to get up, get ready, do my hair make up, go to unfamiliar place is so incredibly overwhelming for me! She cried and next thing I know, once I started to put my foot down, she came out and said, she had to get out of here!

I grabbed my keys and fricking left, had no where to go. Actually went around the block and back. Only to come home, w/ both my girls gone. My one daughter said, they were walking. The other daughter, I text her and said PLEASE don't go out, come home etc...apparently the bf, was up by a nearby gas station, waiting for her. I don't trust him, don't know him and always am anxious when my daughter sees new boys. This is the very 1st time, in 18yrs, that my daughter has not listened to me. However, it was probrobly best, that we were seperated. She's a great young lady, holds a job and I guess my depression, is letting them go, make their own decessions and accept the life lessons.

Even this morning, I feel my bld. boil, cuz I know she wouldn't have left, if it wasn't for this boy, who doesn't work, but somehow has enough $, to pick and drop off my daughter, which is 1/2 hr. away. Costly, due to gas is $2.95/gal!!!!!

Sorry for rambling, I'm sad, depressed have no good friends, no partner, husband to confide in and I actually wanted to cause myself pain, just to get rid of the pain I felt inside. I want to scream at the top of my lungs, I need help. please help me and give me advise.

Thanks

mindchaos 08/02/2018

No advise, but support in taking a breath of fresh air and get your head clear. Only then can you make the best decisions. Gentle hugs.

Ghostwolf04 08/02/2018

Kids these days think college and a real job are stupid, when they can go be a drug dealer and make way more doing essentially nothing. Obviously this guy is a hustler.
I would just let your girls ruin their lives if that's what they wanna do. They will come running back begging forgiveness eventually.
When I was their age I didn't like boys, was not interested in dating, because I knew it would take all my time and blow any chances of me getting thru college. So I waited until I was 24 and graduated to start dating. Most people think there is something wrong with me for doing that.
If your daughters would rather succumb to social pressure and be having sex at their age and not thinking about their futures then that is what they will do. They likely think you are a good mom and saw that you raised them just fine, so maybe they aren't afraid to follow in your footsteps.
I would make sure they know they need a job and good insurance to get annual exams so their doc will prescribe them birth control. Also Walmart has generic birth control cheap, you just need a prescription.
Make them get the hpv vaccine. Trust me I didn't get it and have hpv now so you want to protect them from as many stds as you can. Also many college students are at risk for meningitis so get that vaccine as well. Just do the best you can to protect them without being overly controlling and trust you have raised them well enough to make good choices. If they get pregnant and come crawling to you to raise their children, I would say no, go get a job and take responsibility for making the wrong choices.
Best of luck.

Thnkb4uspk 08/02/2018

Sorry I really don't know much about raising kids but in my case if my mom tried to stop me from doing things that would so make me do it more. We would fuss and argue over such things and I would tell her to just let me make my own mistakes . we have to learn somehow . you're gunna have to let her spread those wings and fly and pray she's going to do what's right and good. Bless you all. Hugs

whydowesufferso 08/03/2018

Being a single mom with depression is extremely hard as it is. I feel your and pray you find some peace. I too have no one to talk to that would understand.

Greenteam 08/04/2018

Is there any chance to reason with your daughters? Their generation is not going to be as fortunate as ours in that education is going to be an automatic requirement in employment. Otherwise that resume will probably get sent to the bottom. No one really explained it to me when I was eighteen. I would have definitely joined the Navy. Being 53 with no education and no skills I managed to get a good job that I'm very happy with. I am classified as part time. Therefore no insurance and no benefits. My point is that they need to understand that now is the time to set themselves up for success in the future. I can only imagine your frustration. If they would only do this or that. Oh so close and then the bottom falls out again. Building your hopes up only to see them dashed in a second. I feel ya. Parents don't need the thought that their children are struggling and in trouble. This "boy" should introduce himself to you and make his intentions clear. If he is BSing you'll know it soon enough, but you can't make your daughter submit to your will if she is eighteen or older. I guess your going to have to hope that good sense prevails. There is nothing wrong with trying to steer her in a positive direction. Did you ever ask her what she is interested in? Goals? I would imagine that you have tried many things? I wouldn't let someone purposely make mistakes if I could help it, but sometimes they make poor choices and your stuck living with it. I am letting you know that I am willing to listen if you need to talk. Oh how are you holding up?

Sabrina 08/05/2018

I raised my daughter for the most part by myself and the one most frustrating thing I have found out is that you can try to give them sensible advice, especially about other people that they become involved with, but it seems they have to make their own unfortunate mistakes before they actually learn anything. My girl will turn 24 soon and if I had a nickel for every time I could have said "I told ya so!" I could just retire now. My daughter moved a signif other in with her in the basement apartment her father and I provide for her. I told her from the get-go this one is no good- a user just looking for a free place to crash for a while, and for whatever she can get. It was not any fun being right on that one. She took my daughter for a ride and then ditched her and broke her heart. We are still finding out where she tries to do fraudulent things on my signif other's bank account. (While living here in the basement with my dtr, she would creep upstairs and get bank account numbers. A real criminal). If all that wasn't bad enough, came to find out she was cheating on my dtr for much of the time she lived here for free. As an almost-50-year-old woman I could see her for what she was but my daughter just refused to believe me and had to find out for herself. It sucks seeing them learn painful life lessons when you feel so compelled to protect them from such things, isn't it? Hugs

AnnieToman 08/05/2018

your a good mama. they were lucky to have ya. you did your best, can't live there lessons for them, they have to learn them them selves. they are plenty old enough to understand for them selves. dont beat your self up and get so angry . you did a wonderful job. what more could you have done?if she doesnt go to college she will be there with you whwere else would she go? BF cant give her the life she seeks. she will realise that soon.

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