My emotions have been pretty neutral but lately I've been feeling myself slip again. I stay in bed longer in the mornings. I dont take care of myself. This morning I'm just dreading going to work. We do get off early today. There was nothing for me to do at work and now I must keep the new person busy. Yesterday I just stayed in my office all day and she kept coming to my door and asking me for things to do. I'm not sure what my place is there anymore. This weekend I will be working on my resume and try and figure out what direction to move in. I'm so tired right now and could go back to sleep. Roomie has no clue. He forgets what I tell him and goes about his business. It's frustrating and very lonely.
Hi after I had my son in 2018 I had postpartum and that turned into depression.... the depression has not left... sometimes it hits me out of nowhere and I just completely shut down and I cry and I cry and I start feeling lonely, unloved, unwanted, feeling like nobody understands what I go through. I had even thought at times it will be better if I just wasn't here on this earth.
Yet another day of feeling like shit. Its crazy because I really dont have a reason to be upset but Ive been down here for so long its just normal now. I try my best to look for reasons to be happy but I just cant seem to find a reason to smile. I am very fortunate to have a friends and family that care and look out for me but I just feel like every day I fight to be happy or find some enjoyment....