Hi, Ihave been dealing with alot of deamons the last couple of days.

i dated a woman i worked with for 2 years, well it all started being friends, i was there when her husband left her and she was there when my mother passed away, we clicked from the start, talked for hours on end. i am married, and she knew this, just a little bit more than a year ago she confessed how she felt about me, at first i was like i am married i cant cheat, but she assured me no one would know. it was an emotional affair. i started to develop more and more feelings for her, and i started to freak out, december my kids had a playdate with hers, it was fun, we kept on chatting. then my wife picked up that my personality started changing and she asked me to end the friendship, i tried really hard to ignore this woman, but i kept missing her, i cant wait to talk to her, text her, visit her in her office ect, and thats when i realised i have fallen inlove with this woman. when she picked up that i was trying to distance myself, she kept asking how do i feel about her and i kept saying i dont know what i feel even though i knew i was inlove with her. i tried to rasionalise how would this work and i just couldnt figure it out. so last month she blocked me on facebook, im and email. i was devestated, i called and she said well you had your chance its over, her reason was i rejected her and hurt her so much that she didnt feel the same about me anymore, i totally freaked out, i went to her house to reason with her, but she wouldnt. i emailed her trying to convince her that i am really sorry i made a big mistake, i was losing it. last week she said well she's found someone else and i must just forget about, but i cant shes always on my mind, if i am alone at home i get myself crying over her. my wife keeps asking whats wrong and obvious i cant tell her so i say nothing. my heart is broken, i dont have an appitite, i dont feel the need to do anything, what makes it worse is the fact that she blocked me and ignores my emails and doesnt take my calls, the last email i sent was on monday to say my last goodbyes, she didnt even reply after i asked nicely. i dont know what to do, i am really depressed, i didnt even feel this bad when my mom passed. i dont know what i am going to do, i just want to be friends at least, because we work together. she is an Aries, what ive read its very hard to get them to change their minds, but i need some help, i am stuck i cant move, i just want to talk to her, but she keeps rejecting me, thats why i stopped sending emails. what can i do?