Well, Mik, sorry things are so bad for you. Bipolar and depression can be pretty disabling. You are going to have to make up your mind to change some things. I don't have a magic solution but your having to live with your brother is probably changeable.

Break it down into small pieces and start working on getting out of there. That should improve things quite a bit.

You need in income .. will probably have to start with that .. then take the next step.

I don't know of any other way, and if you make up your mind to do it, you probably can. We can do amazing things.

I wish you luck and encouragement. The conditions should give you the motivation. If not, .. I hope they will eventually.

Like WV says, break it down into little pieces. Of course the whole situation is overwhelming, but you don't have to solve it all at once. You might start with making a list of what bothers you now, and what you wish things were like. Then try to do one small thing each day to move you closer to how you want your life to be. As you see improvements happening, that might motivate you to do two or three things every day. Perhaps the first thing would be to make a space to eat other than in your bed.

Have you seen a doctor recently to discuss how depressed you feel? That would be another first step.

Hugs - sorry about your hoarder Brother. That would drive me completely insane.

Are you on any meds?

I do have an income. I get about $940 a month in social security disability. I have a foot long blood clot in my left leg. Depression can kill. I`ve lost 6 teeth in the past 3 years. If part of the blood clot breaks free it can cause a pulmonary embolism which would kill you within minutes. The poor dental care could cause a heartattack or stroke. I stopped thinking of killing myself because of my depression I could die from complications of 20 years of depression. I put it in GODS hands. When my times up I will die.

Are you getting treatment for the blood clot? Can you see a dentist? What about care for the depression?

How can we help you?

I`m taking warfarin a blood thinner for the blood clot. Thank God for medicare. I spent a week in the hospital getting 2 injections of lovenox a day plus 10mg of warfarin a day. I can`t afford a dentist and medicare does not cover dental. Even if I could afford a dentist you can`t have oral surgery while on a blood thinner because your blood won`t clot. I have to be on warafin for at least 6 months. So I`ll worry about my dental problems when I can safely get off the bloodthinners. At least the teeth broke off at the gums. It would definitly take oral surgery to remove the remaining roots. Hopefully I can afford a way for inplants . If not i`ll have to get dentures. I thank God for all your help!!!

Thursday I drank about 17 beers took 5mg xanax,50mg ambien and 800 mg seraquil. I wasn`t try to kill myself I just wanted a good night sleep. I woke up about 10:00 pm friday and took 1 pill of each to go back to sleep.I woke up saturday about 5:00pm. It felt good to get some good sleep.It`s like I dreamt for 2 days. My dream life is so much better than my real life. I`d rather just sleep and dream than wake up to the hell I live in.

Whenever you are totally secluded have no friends no girlfriend. no kids and both your parents are dead who loves you?

I`ve been so isolated I have not left the trailor in weeks. Its like being agoraphobic. If I am alone in bed no wonder I can not feel Gods love or love period. I have a blood clot thats a foot long In my left leg. If that clot breaks apart I will probably die. If your suicidal be careful what you wish for. At least if a die from a blood clot it will be the depression kills me. Plus because of the depression I lost 6 teeth. Depression can kill if you suffer long enough.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VI8FIm1Mrw0

drena brown