The first thing is realizing that you have a voice. You are worthy and important. This may be hard to hear but it is possible that you may the only one who can help yourself at this moment. Not because you don't have anyone who loves you but because the people who love you may not understand how you feel or what you think. (and I mean understand in the sense that what you are going through doesn't resonate with them - the same way that someone who doesn't have children can't relate to the pain experienced by childbirth)

Take small steps. Go back to the basics. Start giving to yourself. Take moments for yourself. Relive what it was like to take your first taste of ice cream or chocolate. Don't underestimate the value of enjoying simple things.

I agree with the other post. Take small steps. Do some soul searching. You do have a purpose on this earth. You just need to find it. Prayers for you. It will get better.

I am sorry you're still having such a hard time. The first step is to tell yourself that suicide is not an option no matter what. This is something I had to do and while it wasn't easy at least it guaranteed that my son had his mom. And your kids need you too. You don't want them growing up without a mom. Are you in therapy and taking medication? You said you were getting support from one person at your church. Have you talked to this person lately?

Losers are people who lose. Which is to say, the end of the game, they have lost.

If you're still in the game at the end of the game, you haven't lost.

So all you have to do to avoid losing is to refuse to quit the game.

Go on an adventure there is a whole world out there to explore, different things to see and do and people to meet and be friends with etc... If you are sick of your city go to a new one, if you are sick of your country try a new one, variety is the spice of life, sometimes we need to mix things up and try new things.