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dealing with a dementia patient

unabletocope
unabletocope

I need help coping with dealing with my mother. She has dementia. We have known for about 3 years now. The progression was slow at first but now I see a change in her which is only making me wonder how severe her condition will get. She is forgetting who I am now which is so wierd to experience. She also is beginning to show signs of having trouble when going to the bathroom. She only bathes every 2 or 3 days. I can tell there is a part of her that is trying to hold onto her independence but I am wondering if pride is playing a part and if the energy it takes to keep whatever mental state she has will eventually cause more problems.


I'm not sure what to do at this stage. The adjustments needed to watch and care for her is taking a toll on me and my family. Why is it so hard to take care of one person when she took care of four of us? It's harder because it's more of a mental thing and it hurts not knowing what to do or what to expect from one moment to the next.


Life is so cruel. Why????


Does anyone have any advice or suggestions or encouragement to offer??


 

beatingtheblues2
beatingtheblues2
My mom had Alzheimer's/dementia. There were 6 of us, plus 2 grown grandchildren, plus a few paid caregivers taking care of her 24/7 before we finally put her in a nursing home. It isn't easy. Our goal was simply to keep her as happy and as physically healthy as possible. I think we succeeded. It helped that we (the family) all agreed on care and were able to work out schedules. Being the oldest girl in the family, my sister had more than her share of the duties, but as she said, we all did whatever we felt we could do.

I sought out as much information as I could, and looked for resources in the neighborhood and city. I know there was a good Alzheimer's website that I found, and that provided me with solace, at least -- reading about what other families were going through -- and sometimes they gave tips that we were able to utilize. Talk to her doctor and nurses to see if they can steer you in the right direction. Each family has to figure things out for themselves, but there are commonalities among all of us, too, which can be helpful. (And you're absolutely right -- this is a very cruel disease.)

Good luck. Message me if you have any specific questions -- I will try my best to answer them.
Heidiclark
Heidiclark
There's a huge difference between raising four kids, watching them grow up and all the joy that gives a mom, and taking care of an elderly person with dimentia. If it's getting to hard to care for her you might want to consider a nursing home where she will get 24 hour care.
mollgirl
mollgirl
My heart goes out to you. My mother has Alzheimers and is in a nursing home. My situation is different as I am not her caregiver and live far away. The last time I saw her she had no idea who I was. Sending hugs and I know you will make the right decision.