Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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sprell1434 02/08/2017

Hi. I am currently dating someone with depression and seasonal affective disorder.I love this woman to death, but currently she is not able to show it. For the past few months she has been on and off energy wise. We sent New Yea's together and it was a perfect weekend. She said she felt very connected to me and was feeling happier than she had even been. Two weeks later I visited her (as we are long distance) and she ignored me the entire time. Didn't get up to hug or kiss me when I walked in. When I tried to kiss her she pulled away. Her life is kind of a mess right now so I have been patient with her because I know that she isn't able to give me a lot of attention. But lately she has been communicating less and less, even when we have the opportunity to tal or see each other she wants to be left alone. She has asked me to go home earlier than expected (and it's a three hour drive from me to her.) Last night she told me that she feels that we have grown distant and that's mostly to do with her crazy busy work schedule. But then she told me that she just wants to be alone all the time. She's exhausted but she can't sleep. She's eaten two things in four days. And she isn't feeling much of anything. I have been trying my best to be what she needs but I now realize because this is clearly depression that I can't do anything to fix it. I'm afrain that the things that I am doing are making it worse. She seems uninterested in me most of the time. Uninterested in seeing me, talking to me, or even texting. Being long distance is tough enough, and with this thrown into the mix I just don't know how to handle it anymore.

TheTinyPinkOne 02/08/2017

HI. This one I can relate to perfectly. My other half finds it difficult with my depression and lack of sleep. She is happy, probably the happiest when you are near but long distance on someone with these issues is so much worse. I've been there but i made the next step and moved closer to them to feel better about our love and feel connected.
She probably cares more then she is showing, it's so hard sometimes to show affection because of fear. And it does take longer for us to feel more settled and comfortable with the ones we love! If you take you time be more patient, let her know if even if she goes a day or a week without talking to you, you're still on the other side waiting for her. reassurance is my best friend!
I just enjoy knowing that even though we live together know that no matter what he is always there for me in little ways, whether it be a kiss on the forehead or coming with me to visit my family when we can.

Lucille6 02/08/2017

Dear sprell1434, Is your girlfriend seeing anyone professionally, like a counselor, psychiatrist, psychologist? And have you asked her if she would like to see someone to talk to? Continue to show support. Also, maybe talk to the drs on here. They will maybe have some advice for you. Praying for you both.

sprell1434 02/09/2017

She said she is still taking her medication but doesn't see her doctor on a regular basis. And today she told me that next weekend she going to take her ex girlfriend out to the aquarium. She has never taken me out. And she refuses to drive "all the way up here" to see me just for a few hours. But has no problem driving up here to see her exgirlfriend for a few hours AND take her out. This was after she told me that she just wants to be alone and didn't want me to spend all of valentines weekend with her and that it's better if I'm only there for a day.

TheTinyPinkOne 02/10/2017

Then simply why bother? It's it more important to look after yourself especially if they one you love isn't 100% in it? I know you'll say you love her or you need her! But you can't change someone if they aren't bothered about making effort for you, are they really right for you? I don't get why we all need someone. I do fine when I'm on my own, gives me a chance to think about myself and make myself happy for a change. If anything it seems this situation is giving you more grief then it has too

johnnyboy1960 02/10/2017

I saw on your profile that you are only 21 years old. I don't deny that she has mental healh issues. For one thing you are finding out that it is very difficult to date someone who suffers from mental health issues. Which is a very true statement and one of the reasons that I don't date vecause I don't want to be a burden to an otherwise healthy well rounded person because they suffer as well in trying to understand, support you and to help you get better. Which often ends up in a failed relationship anyway. But in my opinion just my opinion anyway is that there is more going on then you are ready to face up to. One is this long distance relationship which can ve very difficult to maintain unless your significant otger is as into it and willing to put the same amount of effort into it as you are. Relationships are a 50/50 proposition they really are. And she is not making you happy as much as you would like her to and of course you have a vested interest in making her happy as well if you only knew how to accomplish that. Which you don't because she is not allowing you to. Instead she is pushing you away and I think you should take the hint and not see her anymore. She is just not into you and she is letting you know in so many ways. Yous are becoming more lije long distance friends then a relatonship. Let her her go and try to move on with your life you are young you can do this. You are hanging on to a beautil New Years weekend that yous shared together. It is what it is it happened it was nice it was beautiful and now it it's over. This good memory you are hanging onto should have continued to build on other beautil memories that's not what is hapening here. Instead you are being let down time after time regardless of how hard you are trying. Let her go. You are young you will find someone eventually who is worthy of you love and afection. Wish you the best johnnyboy

soulsearcher83 02/11/2017

Hi. I have the same conditions as your girlfriend, in addition to going through a recovery process from back surgery.

I made the decision to not date for a while because I know I can't give a guy what he needs or wants. I'll want more alone time and he'll want to spend more time together. When I am well, that is what I want as well. But with my current mental and physical problems, now isn't the time to date.

Regarding spending time with her ex, that's a huge no-no and there is no excuse for that. You don't spend valentine's weekend with your current bf and your ex. She isn't that into you, depression or not. If the only issue was depression, I'd say to give her time and space and tell her to see her doctor because her current medicine isn't working. But she's seeing an ex while telling you she wants to be alone.

I think you need to cut ties. She's not committed to you. Let this relationship go and go on with your life. You will get the opportunity to meet a great girl. You're young. Your options in life are wide open.

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