Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I had a very bad experience tonight. I go to a group run by a life coach. It has been really good, excellent in fact for the past couple of years.
Tonight there was a problem. I actually went in feeling pretty good. I was going to share some good things and some successes but something happened. I was siting next to a woman who went ballistic and really lost her temper. It's an informal situation, some people come in late. It's not paid therapy but an informal group where people choose to show up. Some people give donations if they choose. There was a man who was making a salad and eating at the counter. Admittedly a little annyoying and distracting when working with the coach but not a big deal in my opinion.
She felt like the time and attention was being taken away from her and started screaming at all of us and at him, "F*** you! Fu** you! How am I supposed to feel loved and cared about when people are coming and going and eating!" She happened to be sititng right next to me on the couch, and therefore was literally in my face. I lost it. I called her a bi*** and left. I was furious at how abusive she was to him. I went to my car and was getting ready to leave, not in any mood to talk at all when I see her at my window. Still furious, I open the window partially. She starts apologizing, and I just can't accept it, I'm fuming. I scream at her, pointing my finger and telling her don't you ever dare talk like that to me around me, ever! Shouting at the top of my lungs. She was totally defeated and had it, like I should have accepted her apology. I tolerate a lot of things, but that is not one of them. When I start hearing those fighting words my mind snaps, I almost cannot help it. I feel enraged and prone to even violence. I don't like it but it's how I feel. Angry people bother me. I drove-a long way back-to another group and was processing it and crying profusely. I don't know what happened but I could not stop sobbing. All these things went through my head that I forgot about, seeing my brother being abused, etc.
I don't know if I must have a lot of repressed feelings or what, but oddly when I returned home this general sense of depression was lifting. The fog that I have been in was starting to clear away and for some odd reason I started to feel more like "myself" again, like I was holding in some awful thing for a century. I don't know what hit me.
orion
Tonight there was a problem. I actually went in feeling pretty good. I was going to share some good things and some successes but something happened. I was siting next to a woman who went ballistic and really lost her temper. It's an informal situation, some people come in late. It's not paid therapy but an informal group where people choose to show up. Some people give donations if they choose. There was a man who was making a salad and eating at the counter. Admittedly a little annyoying and distracting when working with the coach but not a big deal in my opinion.
She felt like the time and attention was being taken away from her and started screaming at all of us and at him, "F*** you! Fu** you! How am I supposed to feel loved and cared about when people are coming and going and eating!" She happened to be sititng right next to me on the couch, and therefore was literally in my face. I lost it. I called her a bi*** and left. I was furious at how abusive she was to him. I went to my car and was getting ready to leave, not in any mood to talk at all when I see her at my window. Still furious, I open the window partially. She starts apologizing, and I just can't accept it, I'm fuming. I scream at her, pointing my finger and telling her don't you ever dare talk like that to me around me, ever! Shouting at the top of my lungs. She was totally defeated and had it, like I should have accepted her apology. I tolerate a lot of things, but that is not one of them. When I start hearing those fighting words my mind snaps, I almost cannot help it. I feel enraged and prone to even violence. I don't like it but it's how I feel. Angry people bother me. I drove-a long way back-to another group and was processing it and crying profusely. I don't know what happened but I could not stop sobbing. All these things went through my head that I forgot about, seeing my brother being abused, etc.
I don't know if I must have a lot of repressed feelings or what, but oddly when I returned home this general sense of depression was lifting. The fog that I have been in was starting to clear away and for some odd reason I started to feel more like "myself" again, like I was holding in some awful thing for a century. I don't know what hit me.
orion
That woman is married to a man who did the same thing to her at home. Or kids if she has any. Maybe they went and fed their faces when she had tried to explain her problems to them. It my be a PTSD trigger for her. Seriously. That is why she came out to you to apologise. It takes a person a few seconds..maybe minutes to realise what they actually said or did. Classsic for PTSD.
I live in a situation sort of like that, but they don't feed their faces. They just totally ignore me or argue with each other. So..I might as well be talking to the da## walls here.
I will let you know if the walls start answering me....;)
There are people everyday that have problems. Some know how to deal with them, some not.
Just like drivers on the road. You never know what makes them drive that way..or road rage. There is always a trigger.
Bad news, someone chewing them out, someone dying, bad marriages, life, radio news, sh## falling apart... pick one.
I try to give them their " space" and not go off too or get back in another lane. ( or even in a store.)
With your situation in your family in the past, you reacted with what you were dealt with. You came back with a defense. Which is also understandable. No one knew this either.
I would sit across the room from her or anyone that may have outbursts. I too cannot handle people yelling...part of my PTSD too.
But if they blow up again, tell them their yelling is terribly upsetting to everyone and take a breath. OR... walk away. ( probably better in that type situation.)
What did the group leader do??? Nothing?? Sounds like my school when teachers would "think" its best for the kids to sort out their problems. I hated that. Its called..laziness or " I don't want to get involved" or..I'm on my break.
L.
mommato2lilmonkeys