Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have a 27 cousin, once removed, who is homeless and living in a tent community. He and his dad lost there trailer when the dad entered a halfway house. I have only ever met him twice, as he is in another part of the state. But he has attached himself to me on FB. I have tried to help by sending him info on shelters, but he says they are full. He had a seasonal job that ended. I told him to file unemployment but he won't because he said he would need a permanent address.I told him to talk to the unemployment office anyway, they may have a way around it. He won't look for a job. He says he had no way to get there, and no way for anyone to call him since his phone is only good for WiFi. He was staying with a friend for a while and I sent him money, but now that I am unemployed I can't afford to do that. Not to mention my husband screams at me when i lend people money because they never pay me back. Then his friend threw him out. My cousin insists that he does not know why. He says he paid him rent. I think this is a lie because he has no money except for what he got from me and i didn't send him that much. His friend messaged me on FB and told me he was thrown out because all he did was sleep, eat all his food, drink his beer and refused to look for a job. Further more, several of his friends and his aunt have posted that people have offered help but he refused to listen and has burned many bridges. I feel there are gaps in his story. His grandmother, three aunts, his dad, a step dad (his parents divorced and his mom remarried before she died), a girlfriend and two step brothers all live his area. I can't get a clear answer from him as to why they are not helping. It makes no sense. This is a part of the family I have not spoken to on a regular basis...they are on my dad's side and he's been gone twenty years and we've lost touch. Should I confront them? I just don't know what else to do. My cousin keeps telling me I should come and get him. I honestly get the feeling he expects me to some how bail him out. My husband told me if I even attempt to bring him to stay with us, he will leave me. He feels there is more to the story, and I am being used. What do I tell my cousin when he says I should come and get him? I can't tell him the truth.
I'm really sorry this is so long.....but i am losing sleep over this.
***Just from reading what little you've written, I think that his friend is right, he's drinking, taking advantage of people and burning every bridge he's come to.
He's 27...there's a job somewhere for him, IF he's willing to be reliable. Which at 27...it's possible to be. He may have to wake up 2 hours early and walk to the job...but I've know people who have done more. And virtually everyone with children does more...
I think he doesn't mind risking being homeless, because he's already been homeless and it's not that bad to him...***
Dude clearly needs a good hard dose of truth. He has to dig his way out of his own hole. He has to wake up to the requirement to get on with his life. He can't mooch forever.
Tell him you've done all you can, you're out of funds and unemployed yourself. Nobody can argue with 'I have no money'.
You don't have to give him a speech. You don't have to tell him off. It's not your task to raise or improve him. You just have to get it across to him that there's no room at the inn.