Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hello Everyone,
I hope you all are doing as well as you can.
Just an update on my situation. My step mom asked me to come home and I apologized for whatever I said or done to upset her and I took some your advice about brushing it off and keeping my head low. I found out that she gave her boyfriends daughter my room she was staying for a few days to help pack the house (which they didn't do) and my little sister called me and told me that the room was now called the guest room. She told me I need to stay gone a few more days and that I put her in a "tough situation". I extended my help if she needed it to pack multiple times and she turned it down.
it was then that I realized she told them to come help out of spite toward me and she couldn't just tell them they couldn't come. Long story short I hadn't heard from her since that day until she texted me with a very dry tone. I told her I understood if she doesn't want me back and if she just wanted life to be with her boyfriend and his kids but she never responded.
I can't help but feel like during my time away she realized she liked it more without me there and now she regrets telling me to come home hence why she hasn't talked to me since that day and she continues to deny my help.
But overall I'm tired of feeling bad and apologizing for something that was not my fault to begin with and I know you all are saying I should just suck it up but I've been more than trust worthy and loyal to her I just want to be happy and not feel like a burden for once in my life
You have been obeying your stepmom's orders and instructions for a while, the new partner's daughter may not be so compliant. How old is the other girl? Is she rebellious now that her father compels her to bond with a potential stepmom? Ask your little sister about the atmosphere in the house, whether the new partner and his daughter have fitted in. From your writing, I think your stepmom is allowing the other man and his daughter to stay as a trial, to see if they are still compatible living together, and that there is no friction between their respective daughters. I think that is the reason why your stepmom has asked you to stay away for a few days to avoid confronting her partner and his little girl. Why is this man staying with your stepmom and not in his own home? Do you know if he has his own house and assets, or is he a no-hoper who leeches on to lonely single mom for food and finances?
Remember your little sister is still there in the house. You may not succeed in persuading your stepmom to let you come home, but your sister may succeed. Let your sister know how much you love and miss her, and that you cannot bear to part from her.
If your stepmom does not intend for you to return, your room would belong to the other girl, and not be known as the "guest room". Your stepmom is uncertain about her relationship with her new partner, given her failed relationship with your Dad. You are her daughter's half sister whom your stepmom can rely on to care for your sister, whereas the other girl is a stranger with no biological bond.
Remember your value, remember your bond to your sister, and think over carefully as what you must do.
You need to take a giant step back and look at the big picture. Sometimes if we dwell on the details of "why" someone chose to do what they did...we start doubting ourselves and what we are actually seeing.
She did a jerk move... and you called it... and watched it play out. Despite being the bigger person. Yes you have been trustworthy and loyal to her... which should reflect on who YOU ARE. And what has she shown you about herself? Not very good things.
Stop feeling bad, stop trying to be more loyal... more loving... more anything... into this situation. Turn that energy into yourself.
Be more trusting of yourself, be more loyal to yourself, and be there for you.
You're young. If i could turn back time...i would tell my younger self..."stop pleasing the unpleasable... stop trying harder and harder for people who won't even show 10% of that effort in return...stop defining your self worth thru whether or not someone approves of you... lastly... stop throwing energy, explanations, trying to understand a hurtful person's perspective. You will end up just undermining your own judgment and sanity. Excusing bad behavior leads to accepting more and more crap.
We can all end the "stop feeling bad" part... when we have a healthy perspective.
Sometimes success is seeing it for what it is... and walking away, creating healthy boundaries to protect yourself, and not tolerating injustices... and having to try harder for someone to love you.
Perseverance is a great quality... but usually best reserved for healthy situations.
I remember how you said you enjoyed the love and support of ur college friends. Some of us have to create a healthier family through our friendships.
Take this as an opportunity to surround yourself with loving, kind, supportive people once again. We make many different types of friends at different stages of our lives. Put your energy into cultivating the life you want for yourself.
Sending you light and love.
If strangers were to eject and hurt me (God help them !), I would flick them to Timbuktu,,.......no I've changed my mind, I would flick these b$@^!%d off the planet. But with family, we cannot be so cold, harsh or calculating. What if one day you become ill e.g with cancer, and you need a donation of bone marrow from a close relative, it is to the siblings that the doctor would turn to. Having an estranged relationship with the stepmom may not be a good idea when you want to ask for her daughter's bone marrow. I don't know, I am just thinking of the future, that's all.
I don’t know how this website works really but if you ever just want to talk or become friends, don’t hesitate to comment my way. Hope you have a safe and healthy day love.
-M
I got luggage for my 18th birthday. I think they thought, well we raised now, time for you to move out on your own.
I hope you can work within the family dynamic and find a place that you can stay at. Best of luck and tell us how it goes.