Whoa!! You are being pulled apart by your family! Yes even family can pull you apart ant they're doing a good job of it. Do all of you live together? This will help to know. Your sister's lifestyle has a lot do do with how your Nephew is acting. No it is not your responsibility to take him to school and have him on the weekends as well. Your sister doesn't have her priorities in order and you're paying the price. You have to , HAVE TOO set up boundaries or people will trample all over you,your whole life. There are some questions I would like to ask that would help me to guide you in the right direction.
1. Do you live with your parents?
2. Do you work?
3.Are your parents ill , is that why you're are always running around helping them?
The reason you have thought of checking yourself into a Mental Hospital is because you are seeking peace of mind and help. They are making you feel like you are drowning.
Do you want to live your entire life running around like a chicken with his head cut off, doing thing's for people that they should be doing on there own?? Well that's what's going to happen if you can't find the strength to tell your sister she's got to take care of the child she chose to bring into this world.
Don't get me wrong I am all for helping my family. I have had to pick my Great Niece up from school and I don't mind helping out. If your parents are crippled and can't do for themselves then I understand you doing thing's for them, but I would still say if this was the case, that you should try and get some Respite Care to help you help them.
I am not picking up by your post though that this is the case at all. You can be 2 types of people in this world:
1. Someone who never sets boundaries for themselves . Certain types of individuals will tend to take advantage of a person like this and load them up with either there problems,errands and responsibilities . ( People like your sister whom are irresponsible know very well that they are asking way more than they should out of you) but because they are selfish and all they can see is that there needs be met , they are basically saying,"Heck with yours!" The only person who has the power to change this is YOU.
This woman will help give you tips on how to begin setting boundaries for yourself weather you are Christian or not and she is pleasant to listen to, She doesn't yell and has been through so much in her life she really get's those who are struggling .Go to Youtube and type in Joyce Meyer sermons SETTING BOUNDARIES. The show will be about 45 min long but it will definitely help.
The individual who never sets boundaries is miserable. Living each day for what others need and leaving very little time for there own needs.This person is often left frustrated and overwhelmed. with the need to say something and set boundaries but lacking the guts and 'know how" to know when to say ENOUGH.
2.Then there is the second type of person who has the love and kindness in her heart to help others but also sets boundaries when doing it. People who by nature take advantage of others will get upset with the person who sets boundaries but they will also get over it. The individual who sets boundaries is a more balanced person. Happy to do for others but knows when to say, " Thats enough"
You can learn to say ENOUGH and still be a loving , helpful person <3

Wow, that is a MOUTHFULL!

First some fluff for you. I LOVE your profile picture. The gold fish with the shark fin strapped to its back is insanely awesome!

Now back to reality. I see from your profile that you are 20. I am curious about the ages of the other players in the family drama you are trapped in. How old is your sister, and does her baby's father participate in his life? Also how old is your nephew? Likewise for your parents.

Sorry to be prying, but this will help us better understand the dynamics of what is going on.

How about you, are you in school, do you work, basic stuff. Again that helps us fill in the details.

It sounds like your family sees you as their personal assistant for life. I am all for family unity (all my birth family has passed away, i'd give anything for one more family meal with them), but your family really sounds toxic to you.

At the risk of me jumping to conclusions, I think your idea about getting away from your family is a very good one. You might consider talking to a battered woman shelter; no I do not think they physically abuse you based on what you have said, but they are emotionally abusing you and holding you down. The people at these shelters are really good at helping people formulate escape plans.

gentle hugs

Okay. I live with all of them, my sister is in her mid 30s. And her sons father is not in the picture. She left jim because he cheated a bunch and then he just never really tried having anything to do with my nephew.. i dropped out of school pretty young to take care of my mom and nephew. My dad is a trucker so he cant help much. Especially now hes never home. My mom is in bad health. But EXTREMELY mentally/emotionally abusive and manipulative and controlling.. my mother doesnt let me work using her health as the excuse. And makes sure i dont have access to anything i need to be able to try getting a job.. my boyfriend is trying to get a job (he is living with his mom and was going to college and they had agreed that he could focus on school. He's mainly going to try getting a job so that i could move in when i decide to leave.) And his mother said as long as he has a job and i either focus on getting my GED or get a job that she doesn't mind me moving in. I LOVE him and his family. I always feel guilty for trying to leave.. because i know they do need me.. or everything would fall apart.... i have been trying to stand up for myself more but it just causes drama... sometimez i wish they'd kick me out so i'd have an excuse to get out of here... I stay torn.. because i dont mind helping.. and i dont want to screw them over.. but i want out... If they would just be nicer and acknowledge that i do a lot for them i wouldn't be soo bothered... i just hate feeling like im doing it all for NOTHING... v.v

Hi, sorry about the horrible situation you're in. Taking care of your sisters kid is something you don't have to do, just don't do it. Why should she be able to spend time with her boyfriend and not you? The funny thing is if you stop doing the stuff for them then they will have to do it for themselves. If you keep doing it for them then they will never do it, they know you will, and that's why you are in this constant circle of their bull crap. I think that you should help your mom and maybe the dog, but your uncles and your sister and her kid is something you can unloaded and have that time for you. If you were gone then they would figure it out so don't take your life, be strong and say NO to suicide and say No to your sis and your uncle, you don't owe them anything. Your dad and mom you might owe them since I'm guessing you live with them? They are your patents so you should help them but just unloading your uncle and sis with kid will be a huge unload in itself.

I just hate to not help with my nephew because she'll just push him off on my parents or someone else... even when she wasnt living with us she pawned him off on her friends kids... more than anything what gets to me with my sister is that i have to take care of her dog otherwise it'd starve... I make sure she gets fed and has water and doesnt get left in the freezing cold and whatnot... and then she has had the nerve to make comments about how i take care of my animals.. like, i cook, i take care of her dog, her kids, my mom, i have to fill out applications and whatever else for my parents and uncle. And watch his dog (who gets in fights with mine but he refuses to keep it away from my dog..) and then im expected to magically have money to take care of myself with the job im not allowed to get. And then im called lazy for not having a job when MY PARENTS TELL ME NOT TO GET ONE because they need me at home.. my sister has me enforce her rules for her kid and then comes home and back off and doesnt enforce them herself.. id like to even have one weekend to go stay with my cousin and hang out.. but im not even allowed to do that much. Yet my sister is gone every weekend all weekend and if i dont take care of my nephew hell be stuck with my mom who is the last person he should be around >.<

Telling it like it is .. your sister is an unfit Mother. She can't or won't deal with this child. That puts it where if not, .. who? YOU. Mom is a user and is eating you alive. Everyone in your life (just about) HAS ALREADY USED YOU UP. Look at the condition you are in. Make a plan and get the hell out of there. The child ... has a Mother .. if she doesn't take care of him, .. that is what Child Protection is for.

You have to save yourself. You cannot win this situation ... you must get out. Cope as long as it takes to MAKE A GOOD PLAN and book it out of there. Dunno if its Obamacare, but if it is, you can stay on parent's health insurance for 6 more years ... AND Trump is going to improve on the plan substantially. In any case .. you have to get out. Good luck. Make a careful plan, .. and follow through.

Ah, the old 'if you leave everyone will die' trick. And so you stay and stay, and consider killing yourself.

As though killing yourself were not also leaving. You're going to have to leave them either way, and being dead only opts you out of them bleating at you after you're gone. Let them bleat at your old cellphone, which you chuck, and get a new cellphone. Let them bleat at your old facebook. Let them snivel all they like to your old email address. And get the hell out.

My dear if you've hit that point, you may as well walk out and be alive, as end it, leave and be dead. From their point of view? Cinderella still left. From your point of view? Cinderella's still alive.

Time to move out. You don't owe your parents your life! How STUNNINGLY white trash for a mother to keep her daughter from getting an education in order to turn that daughter into a servant. How primitive. How ridiculous.

You've lived all your life with these people, but I tell you it's time to go. Their way of life involves finding a victim and using it till it dies. And then finding another one. And using that one till it dies.

don't be the one that dies. Be the one that leaves.

Its gross... but only you can solve it either.
Be the bad mom, they are prompting you to be.

Tell your mother you're retiring from helping her and hand her a list of respite care companies. If she doesn't call, too bad. If she calls for you to help, don't respond. Only call for an ambulance if she needs one. Write a resignation letter if you think it will make you feel better. Turn up your music. If she keeps trying to bother you, tell her to call your sister or the care companies. It WILL take time for her to accept it. She'll try to torture you with guilt. Don't give it. Close the door and turn up the music.

Tell your sister that you require $200 a week up front in cash for dog and child care. It's still a bargain. If she refuses, tell her you're done helping her. Let her lazy, worthless ass horrid excuse for a sister and mother swing in the wind. Don't be guilted into it. Pay for it or you don't work for her. Again, don't give in to guilt trips. They will try and try. You can't back down.

Go to college. Get the GED. Find out if you need it. It's different with community colleges. You have a car or access to one if you are doing all of this. Go to the library and study for your GED or get a job. Call temp agencies to get you started sooner.

That or search for your local community college and visit it and start taking classes. After a year, transfer to the other side of the state away from these asshats. Colleges also have resources for people suffering from depression and ptsd.

If you don't put your foot down, they will walk all over you like they always have. It's your time now. It's your time to get out as soon as possible. I think it's best to get a job asap and find a place. Like I said, temp agencies are good at getting you placed quickly.

DON'T BACK DOWN. They will guilt you, torment you, call you worthless. If you have a sarcastic attitude like me, I'd say if I'm so worthless then you won't need me. But my mouth gets me into more trouble than it's worth sometimes. Just set the rules and ignore them after that.

Hi. I'm sorry to hear what a difficult and unfair situation you're in. It sounds like your family members have identified empathy, compassion, and maybe even vulnerability in you...and are taking advantage of you to the max:(
First, I want to commend you on holding it together so well: ,as much as your nephew frustrates you, I suspect much of his acting out has to do with his own neglect, and how his mom leaves him. He is very lucky that you've stepped in so far, and maybe even the sense of responsibility and bonding there helps you in some way, when it's not making you feel depressed?

Second, and the point of my post: a therapist once told me about this concept called something like Cartman's Triangle? The premise is that if you imagine the 3 points of a triangle (or perhaps the 6 points of a hexagon- whatever number accurately represents the number of responsible players in your situation-)...in your case, I guess those would be you, your parents, and your sister. (Your nephew doesn't really have a say.) No matter what you wish or ask, you cannot always MAKE another person change their behavior, especially if the balance is benefiting them.
Right now, you feel you have no control over your own time or plans, etc. However, from the triangle theory perspective, you almost always hold power over yourself, even if not others.
If you neglect your own health because you are stuck pleasing others, your ability to please won't last.
You ARE in control of your destiny more than you realize:) Say no. I realize this probably won't work. So get creative. I didn't catch your age, but if you can, go stay with your boyfriend, a friend, or at a hostel or shelter for a while. Make yourself physically unavailable to them. Sign up for something after school, or pretend you've been court ordered to attend some kind of class or meeting. Anything. When they try to pass stuff off onto you, try to ignore pangs of guilt, and say, "sorry...I gotta go do xyz....if I don't take care of myself sometimes, I won't be able to help you at all."
If you change YOUR corner of the triangle, take yourself out of the equation...it will cause temporary imbalance, but it will eventually find a new normal. That's nature.
I've struggled with being afraid to say no or make people mad, because I'm afraid they'll stop loving me, reject me, etc. The first few situations I tried to change in this way....were scary. I felt alone, and immediately wanted to run back to the safety of familiarity...my old routine as doormat. But eventually, I forced myself to stick to my plan longer and longer.....and amazingly, one of the people who should have been,responsible in the first place finally stepped up. A new balance evolved, and after a bit of push back, they actually began to respect me for reinforcing my own boundaries, and expecting them to respect them.
Not to say you should abandon L.T. (Little Terror) altogether - that would hurt BOTH of you - and neither of you are to blame here. But your sister needs to hear in plain English that if she wants to retain custody of her child, and not be hates by him and you down the road, she needs to step up and be a real mother.
She needs to hear that your babysitting services have been taken for granted, and you are putting a stop to it!
Demand cash payment before she leaves him with you, and if she doesn't pay, walk out the door and go sit under a shrub down the street. Anything. Just give her a reminder that she doesn't control you, and that something on her dad's got to give.
Even if big changes in the dynamics of the situation are gradual, inside, you will feel so good for standing up to her/them.
That's my 2 cents. I know every situation is different. This"remove yourself from the triangle or carousel" idea has worked for me in many situations...but I admit that I have still run in to disastrous circumstances in which I felt helplessly trapped for years. But actually, in the end, even with those, it was a change in my own actions that turned out to be the catalyst for broader change.
I hope this might help in some way:) Regardless, you should feel great about yourself for taking care of your nephew up to this point. I promise that the stability and consistency you offer him will stay with him all his life. But now that his mom has had a nice long party break, she needs a reality check. Good luck, and remind yourself that it can't stay bleak forever, or else how would we even know what bleak is? Brighter, lighter days are ahead for you:)

http://coda.org/
I could add plenty to this discussion but most of it has already been said. I do recommend taking a look at the site above. No matter how much we want to help others, we must first care for ourselves and second recognize when "helping" may be hurting.

As for your nephew, there is a program within every state's division for children and family services designed to assist families ...to prevent abuse and neglect. Few people take advantage of it because they are unaware or are scared that asking for help will actually get them in trouble. The reality is that the system is failing but we are a part of the system and we have the opportunity to help it succeed by using it as intended. These services are one way to do that. Call anonymously and ask about the services themselves. When you are ready, call and make a referal... again, anonymously if you wish. It can seem scary but I've done it. As it turns out, these services are financially beneficial for a state; the more they are used, the less a state must invest in the much more costly services of investigation of allegations and in foster care, both of which include considerable legal fees. Services can include referal to a wide variety of resources, financial assistance, parent training, therapy, job training, housing and more. No black marks are made to a person's record and if by some chance an allegation ever did come up, cooperation with a referal looks VERY GOOD. Your sister needs some help growing up. That is not your job but your concern for your nephew is admirable and this is a way to help them both.

As for you and your boyfriend's schooling and employment situation. Check out journeyman programs; these are paid on the job training opportunities in technical labor fields such as electricity and carpentry. Also, most communities have career centers. If you can't find one, ask at your local high schools and colleges. I actually got a small scholarship from one to train for a 2nd career when health robs interfered with my 1st. Someone else I know got assistance with paying off debt to a school and getting free childcare so she could finish her degree. Also, by the way, there are some online high school programs where you can still earn a diploma while also taking GED type classes and those that charge accept some types of financial aid. Getting a diploma is definitely better if you can find a way to do it. If you are not over 21 and especially if you have any disabilities, you may even be able to go back to a tegular school. I don't know all the details, but I have read about this. Also, most catholic dioceses and some agencies sponsor employment coaching for free. Thid includes help with career exploratiob, job searches, prepping for an interview, writing resumés and cover letters etc.

Regarding housing: if addiction is still an issue for you, I happen to know there is a nine-month free residential program for addicts that also helps with finishing schooling, getting a job etc. Another option is to explore transitional living programs that require you meet regularly with a social worker and actively work on certain goals while saving money earned towards meeting initial expenses of living on your own. Goodwill is another good resource. If you have a mental health diagnosis at all, go to nami.org and find the nymber of your local NAMI office to get a referal to some local community health centers. There, ask for case management, a community support specialist, and help with community supported living which may include special housing or a grant to help afford housing. Also, depending on your age (might tell your boyfriend this too), you can be considered homeless and thus bumbed to the top of housing assistance lists if you do not have a permanent residence, ie someplace where you are listed on a lease with equal responsibilities for and rights to a property, regardless the fact you have a safe roof to sleep under. Speaking of, being "homeless" may qualify you for other services or resources.

Regarding your mom, as it seems her health issues are ongoing, I assume she is on Social Security Disability. Even if she is not, disabilities verified by a medical professional can qualify her for many resources and services that will help take the burden off you. Regardless, search for your local area agency on aging at http://www.n4a.org/ then contact them and ask for an assessment for your mom. She doesn't have to be elderly; they did an assessment on me (I'm disabled). They will identify her needs, tell her what she is eligible for and make referals. Obviously, they have considerably more to offer the elderly, but they established what care I needed to help establish care through a home health agency and prior that was able to be bussed free to a local senior center for a daily meal. The old people got a kick out of someone half their age being there. Bottomline, seek help and believe in yourself.