Is there anyone you can open up to about what's making you feel this way? And if you don't mind why are you afraid to get help?

When I get into that head space I try to focus on what I'm doing second to second. Or I try to avoid being in certain scenarios that set me off. But I believe reaching out to someone (even if its just on here) is gonna provide the best outlet for you.

I hope something I or someone else says may help you. Sending big hugs your way and hoping you continue to be strong and find the answers you need.

Falling gives good advice. If you have a therapist, i'd suggest calling in and saying you're having an emergency and could really use a session. I know that for me having a chance to just get all hte emotions off my chest can be very helpful.

I just got a new therapist and havent even been in to see her...Im not the kind of person that likes to open up to people that I barely know...Im afraid of getting help cuz Ive confided in my therapist before and they just called the police and it was a traumatic event for me...they made me go to the hospital

Suicidal thoughts are very serious. You need to reach out to a doctor
or therapist who can help you. You say you're afraid to, but it will be
worse if you don't. You're afraid you might hurt yourself, that's enough
to go for a visit to the hospital. Please see a doctor soon. It could save
your life. And keep posting here. We care. Big Hugs

This is a hard place to be in because if you tell a therapist they'll send you to a hospital. They don't take suicidal thoughts lightly because no one should. Maybe if they get really bad you can go on crisischat.org It's really helpful. I think this forum right here is helpful. Just the fact that you reached out to us is pretty amazing and shows you wanna help yourself which is great.

Take it from someone who's attempted...I didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment I did it because I exhausted all the options, even told my mom. And still went through with it. People usually reach out to others before attempting so it's a bit scary...people are unpredictable you never know when or where they're going to just reach their boiling point.

You can talk to me about what's the main problem you are feeling that way and I'll just try to give you my point of view. You just need a friend that knows you are having these thoughts and can help. It might even save your life at the time being. You never know.

I dont feel that the hospital will help and Im afraid of going in by myself...I feel like I'll end up being in the hospital for a long time and I dont want that

Can you create a gentle environment for yourself? NAMI, the National Alliance for Mental Illness, talks about making a cozy, soft environment for yourself if you don't want to go to a hospital. You can have soft pillows, good soft music and something which smells good nearby. You can watch gentle movies or have a good book that you like. You cna have the doctor on call if you need him or her.

My daughter is 19 and just started mental health services of her own volition (choice). The way life is now for Millenials is hard because there is no sense of purpose. The world is polluted and folks seem like they don't care and in college, professors can be arrogant and dating is difficult and all that.........It gets tough.

I would have a friend, a good, solid trustworthy friend stay with you for awhile. When feeling better, brainstorm and think of goals that you want to follow.

In the meantime, artwork always helps.

Good luck to you and keep truckin'

4My

The thoughts are getting worse...I can picture what I would look like when Im dead...I can picture me taking the pills or cutting my wrist to the point that I bleed to death...Im scared and dont know what to do..Ive tried to keep myself busy and do calming/relaxing things to help but its not working! What should I do?

I really think you should talk to your therapist. Tell her about how your last experience with the police did more harm then good, and she will probably take a different approach. If you open up to her you will be able to talk about different treatment options. You might be able to do an out patient or partial program instead of an inpatient program. However, at this point going to the hospital might be the best idea. It's scary, but it can help a lot. I have two friends who are only alive today because they were hospitalized, and now they are very happy. Your therapist can only help you if you trust her.

The problem with being hospitalized or doing PHP (partial hospitalization) is that I was not treated very well the last time I was there so Im afraid to even go to a partial program...I know that it is probably best for me to go to a hospital but Im not to sure that they will treat me well

When I had obsessive suicidal thoughts and had a plan I called the suicide hotline and they suggested I go to the hospital. It was really hard being at the hospital but it protected me from hurting myself. I really feel for you. I have been taken to the Psyche Ward by the Police and once in an ambulance after an attempt. I hate this disease called Depression. I eventually got support from a Community Mental Health Center where I met other people living with serious mental illnesses. You are not alone. There are millions of us. We need to support each other.

Ive tried calling the suicide hotline in the past and they suggested I go to the hospital and get evaluated...I didnt like the suggestion so I hung up on them and they called the police in which they made me go to the hospital and back when this happened I was not as bad as I am now