I'm sorry to hear you're in such a painful situation. How about calling a women's shelter and asking them how to go about leaving? They've advised many women who felt they couldn't get out of a marriage due to lack of money and no place to go.

Can you save up money for awhile? Do you work? If you check rentals in your area, you can get an idea of what the rent would be for a couple of months, plus a security deposit. Then save up that amount.

If you don't work, you could get SSI (Supplemental Security Income) from the government which can help pay for expenses. There is also Section 8 housing, which is another government program that helps pay your rent. If you used to work, you can apply for SSDI, which is federal disability income, but I see you're very young, so unfortunately you probably don't have a lot of work history.

Also, if you don't work but your husband gives you money for groceries or clothes or whatever, you can start to keep some of that money aside for yourself so you can eventually leave. Or do you have *any* relatives or friends who can help you out -- either with money or a place to stay?

If none of these options appeal to you, then I think the only thing you can do is change yourself -- you can't change him or get him to change. Some people become even more mean when they are dealing with somebody who seems weak. If you think of yourself as a victim, and all your self-worth depends on his approval of you, you may appear weak and helpless -- which makes you an easier target for an abuser.

You need to find your inner strength, to disregard the crap he says and to stand up for yourself. YOU are the most important person in the world to you -- or you should be. Maybe it would be a good idea for you to have individual counseling to help you see that, and to see your own worth. This might give you the strength to get out of the situation. In addition, you may find that if you become strong and confident and proud of yourself, that your husband's behavior changes, too.

I tend to believe that if and when things get bad enough, we're able to find the resources we need to get out of an awful situation. If you really want to leave him, I think you will find a way to do so.

I hope I'm not coming off as harsh; if so, I apologize. I just think you are worth more than you are getting, and I really want your situation to improve.

{{{hugs}}}

Your husband is one of two things. He is either a narcissistic, or a man with very low self esteem. Men with low self esteem always find fault in the other partner because that way they don't have to look at what is wrong with them. Nobody, and I mean nobody, wants to hear "That is not what I meant" over and over again. That tells me that he wants you to think you don't understand him. Please don't stay with a mentally abusive man because you don't have any money. All of that mental abuse is going to leave more scars then you want, need, or deserve. There is help out there and while he is away at work or wherever, do as much research as you can on finding help. I know it's out there. Don't let him win because that is what he's doing right now. Keep posting and we will keep helping as much as possible. You have lots of support here hon.

I'm sorry that things are so bad for you.
Have you tried to pull him up every time he does something?
If therapy with the current therapist is not helping could you see someone else?
Could you see someone independently to work on your self esteem and on assertiveness?

Save small amounts if you can, talk to friends and family see if they can help. Know that people here care about you and we want to help
xx