Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have hit what feels to be the bottom. I can not remember anything, all I want to do is sleep and DO NOT want to be around people. Too bad I am a preschool teacher and it is my son's birthday today. I do not feel like I am being very fair to him because I do not want to go anywhere or have anyone over today. I will push through it though for him. I feel very overwhelmed by the smallest things and feel like there is no real reason to go on with life. What is the point of it? I do the same thing everyday and have a very unhappy and unhealthy marriage. My best friend is a guy who is attracted to me and therefore it is making the friendship very difficult because he then feels guilty and pulls away. My two boys do not respect me and make it very difficult to be home with them alone.
I have started to plan my own funneral and have even asked my friend to write a song for my funneral that he will perform. I have thought about writing letters to my children so that they will understand. I just feel like everyone would be better off without me and my messed up mind. My dh says that it is very difficult for him to have to deal with my depression and so it would even be easier on him. My mom just worries about me and that causes her stress. My step mother and dad are usually upset with me because I do not come to see them and then when I do, I get the speach about how my dad is not going to be around forever. Well, maybe I won't be here forever either and maybe it would be nice if they would make an effort to give a damn about me and what is going on in my life or how I am feeling. I am sick and tired of all of teh crap in my life.
I have started to plan my own funneral and have even asked my friend to write a song for my funneral that he will perform. I have thought about writing letters to my children so that they will understand. I just feel like everyone would be better off without me and my messed up mind. My dh says that it is very difficult for him to have to deal with my depression and so it would even be easier on him. My mom just worries about me and that causes her stress. My step mother and dad are usually upset with me because I do not come to see them and then when I do, I get the speach about how my dad is not going to be around forever. Well, maybe I won't be here forever either and maybe it would be nice if they would make an effort to give a damn about me and what is going on in my life or how I am feeling. I am sick and tired of all of teh crap in my life.
No matter how hopeless it all seems right now, its not.
You wrote that you'll push through it for your son. Good for you! Your kids need you. Make them the reason to keep on going. Reach out to those who have been there and understand.
Please hang in there.
I know the feeling, really know the feeling I'm still going through the feeling but outside of my kids keeping me going, I do know that once this feeling passes and I know it doesn't feel like it will but a better person is waiting to emerge out of both of us. Keep pushing through she is waiting to emerge.