Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I have read a lot of self help books and they all say that you are supposed to make yourself happy and that no one else can do it for you. I can't seem to get this concept through my thick head. I am in a very unhealthy marriage and have a friend who says that he loves me. I have known him for as long as I have been married and no matter what, it seems like there is a magnet that attracts us to each other. It is like sparks fly through the air when we are near each other. The problem, obviously, is that I am married and he is also in an unhappy marriage that is really screwed up. We have tried to not communicate and actually made it for 4 years. Now, something is going on with him and he won't tell me about it and has not contacted me for two days. It is very rare that we don't at least text everyday. I feel like I have just been rejected and that I am worthless. I hate that someone else has that much control over how I feel about myself.
she said...
everyone grows a little every day. if youre in a marriage, you have to take great care and make great effort to make sure youre both growing together... otherwise, you'll grow apart.
i dont know what about your marriage is unhealthy... if hes abusing you, then you need to get away from it... if its just loveless, then it can be fixed, if you want to. do more together. find the things that you have in common and revel in them... find the things that you dont have in common and see if you can find some commonalities in those.
sorry, like i said, i dont have much advice to offer... but if that happens to help, it may make the other problem(s) go away.
really not sure what to say about the friend... whatever the problem is, it might have to do with you... his wife may have found out... or he may just be trying very hard to make it work with his wife... i dont know... all you can really do is be there for your friend when he is ready to communicate again.
i always tell people, "things will get better, when you make them better"
by that i mean, if you just sit there and expect that things will get better on their own, youre in real trouble...
human beings are not born with the right to be happy. we are not entitled to happiness... its something you have to work for.
set small goals on the way to the big goal of "being happy". when you reach the small goals, you'll feel better.
thats what those books are trying to say.
good luck... i hope something in here helped at least a little
*hugs*