Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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Kg1979 04/12/2018

Sometimes I just can't deal with life! I'm having one of those moments right now. I just can't deal.

I have an amazing daughter and thought I had an amazing boyfriend. Who I love more than anything. Have a brilliant job. O have a good life.

Yet I just can't deal.

It sounds bloody stupid. But I've had shit relationships. I met someone over 2 years ago, my daughter adores him, she calls him her step dad (huge moment for her as she decided as much as she moves him, her real dad isn't good for her life at the moment), I adore him. Yet he has constantly accused me of cheating on him. I've never cheated on anyone. Don't get it, couldn't do it. Don't understand why you would even want to hurt someone like that.

Yet. I just can't explain it. 2 years he's been paranoid, I understand his paranoia, I've been cheated on, beaten up etc etc etc. I've been on antidepressants, councilling and I've dealt with my issues. My issues are still there but I recognise them and know them, I know how to deal with them.

He hasn't spoken to me in 3 days. It has never gone on this long. I've always caved and made him speak to me. But. I'm trying to realise that he can't treat me this way. Make his issues be about me. Let him carry on blaming me, making me be the bad person because he's adamant that I'm cheating on him.

I'm not. But he is so sure. It's a fact to him. So much so that, I'm sure he's fallen out of love with me.

God!! It's so sappy to make this one man my life. But he is. I love him. Like real love of my life can't do without him love.

Right now I can't see beyond him. And I know all that "he's not what makes you" "he's not your life" "you don't need him" etc etc. But. He is my life. I know I could go on without him. But I don't want to.

My daughter and I would be just fine, we'd go on. We'd live. But I want him part of it. I want him part of us.

Why can't he just see it. Everyone sees it. Even his own family sees how happy we are. See how happy we make him.

I just don't want to go on without him. If it wasn't for my daughter, I'm not sure I could go on. How awful does that sound?! To have one person make you want to live.

I'm fed up of coping, just coping with life. I know I can just get in with it. But I'm fed up of having to. Fed up with just getting in with it. Life felt as perfect as it ever could be. Right now it doesn't. I'm just fed up of coping

Kg1979 04/12/2018

I do everything for her, I always have done and I always will. She's my life, without her I'm nothing. I will always go on with or without someone, for her.
But I just feel like, when is it my turn? A man will never ruin my life.
I just don't get why, everything he's ever wanted, I've been that for him, he's told me. Yet he's adamant I'm cheating on him. Even when I've proved it to him time and time again

Kg1979 04/12/2018

I've been through worse and dealt with it. Became a better person for it. This just feels heart breaking I can't describe it

gregsbaby 04/12/2018

Life isn't promised to us tomorrow and it's waaaay too short to be with someone who's constantly accusing you of cheating. Usually when the other partner is doing the accusing that's because they're cheating, not saying he is, just more times than often that's how it goes.

There are many more fish in the sea and you'll have to reel some in and put them back in before you hook the good one and from what you wrote he sounds like a stinky one that needs to go back in. So you really have to ask yourself "when is enough enough?"

Kg1979 04/12/2018

Yeah I'm there already. Enough is enough. Just heart breaking isn't it. That it has to be at that point. And yeah I'm questioning if he's accusing me as much as he is, is that because he is. He's told me that he's been cheated on before amd that hes always cheated in retaliation and that I'm the first woman that he's never even thought about cheating on. He's told me that I'm the only one that has ever got him. We're amazing together. He knows it, I know it. But he can't get over his paranoia.
But yeah enough is enough now

Downboy11 04/12/2018

Stay strong! Sometimes it might be better to walk out of an abusive relationship

Stormy13 04/12/2018

I am going thru some of the same things you are talking about. I had to get my self respect back and end the relationship, even though I still love this person very deeply. I came across the article in this link- it may or may not be of help to you. It was an eye opener for me. It couldn't hurt to read it. It explained to me why I still wanted to be with the person who was hurting and abusing me the most.

https://pro.psychcentral.com/recovery-expert/2016/01/emotional-abuse-and-the-impact-of-absence/

I hope you can find the answers and help you need.
I know it helps just to write out your feelings and feel heard.

robotnik 04/13/2018

Perhaps the paranoia is a symptom of a psych problem he's developed?

Rubydoobydoo 04/13/2018

Sounds like he's carrying on his victim role, he has been a victim by being cheated on, but he is letting this define him, I feel he is looking for you to rescue him with reassurance, when you don't admit to cheating he is persecuting you with silence, show him this doesn't work don't be the first to make amends he needs to do this, sounds like he doesn't know how to respond to your truth because it's not what he is familiar with, he has the issue and he needs to decide how he chooses to carry on dealing with this , you can decide and end it but you don't want to, next time he accuses you turn the focus back to him, ask what makes him so insecure to think you would do that, turning the focus to him will make him think deeply, if he can't answer leave it at that, I guarantee he will think about it ,hope it turns out great for you all

Kg1979 04/13/2018

He's not abusive by all means far from it. I've been in an abusive relationship, emotionally and physical, I know what it looks like. He's a very insecure person and in the past my reassurances have worked. I think this is something he has to work out himself, with or without me. We have talked about counselling but I think he's scared. For today I'm just going to carry on.
Thank you for your posts

Rubydoobydoo 04/13/2018

He will go when he is ready, it's good he's aware of this and that your there to help him through

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