Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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bbarton6161 09/14/2014

This last trip though hell has lasted about 3 days. I have just come back up enough to post this. When I am deep in the dark place I loose the ability to communicate. I know that is when I should be asking for help or just reaching out to someone for support but cannot seem to summon the will or desire to do that. All I want to do is curl up into a tighter and tighter ball until I just wink out of existence.
I still haven't reached the point this time around to be able to talk face to face with anyone. God knows it was very hard to type this. I think I am getting worse not better. The bad times come more often and are more intense. I don't know how much longer I can or want to hang on. What is so wrong about suicide if I am going to die sooner or later anyway. Life seems so pointless
BB

IsJusMe 09/14/2014

it would be glorious to live in a place that even attempted
to make sense ... a place where you are treated gentle
and honest ... where emotions are accepted and if not
understood at least allowed and not made to feel wrong,
bad, broken, selfish, phoney ..

it would be nice if the negative reaction some
people have toward those of us who react more intense
to and with emotion would learn to be more ... kind...

the whole world is a mess barton ...
keep holding on as best you can hon ...

deleted_user 09/14/2014

Have you told your Doctor about this? If not I would try your best to communicate this with your Doctor. Take care.

SunflowerDelight 09/14/2014

You were put on this earth for a reason. We weren't promised that life would be easy, and for some people it seemes as there are much more trials than easy days. But if we try to think of the difficulties as ways for us to grow stronger as a person and in character, then it doesn't make it seem as bad.

Life can sure be tough many times, but we can make it through. There are people who care for you, and there will always come new people in our lives. Some will bring good with them, others will bring more bad. Those who brings good with them are the ones to support and help us feeling stronger, these people can be met face to face but also online. And I think you have a lot of people who cares for you on here. And God cares for you too. You are not alone. Keep on holding strong unto life, keep on having hope and faith.

Heidiclark 09/14/2014

I have a hard time talking to people face to face, too, even on my "good" days. My ind is often blank and I simply can't think of anything to say. I am making the effort though. And I am so sorry that you are having suh a hard time. Have you talked to your doctor about what you are going through? And coming back here and sharing with us here at DS can help too.

heretic 09/14/2014

I can't talk to anyone either. It seems absolutely pointless.
I don't know what the answer is but I hope you feel better soon.

bbarton6161 09/14/2014

Still swimming for the surface. My mind feels sore and fuzzy right now which is a big improvement over the pain and despair I feel when way down deep. I can only hope for a few days up to rest and mend mentally before I fall back in. I am in a fragile place right now and pray nothing happens or I think the wrong thought that will send me crashing back down

oneinacrowd 09/14/2014

I know that feeling, battered and bruised mind after a hard battle to surface. I think we have a fear at this point about not wanting to fall back down that may cause us to not relax enough to allow the required mending. It is at this point I try to do something that gives me a positive feeling. Can be anything a small task, communicate with someone, shower, clean, etc. Just something to confirm that I am up and I can sustain it.
I really feel for you bbarton, hang on in there.

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