My brother had a psychotic break last week. For a few days i noticed him acting strangely and we had to take him to the hospital. He would say irrational things, acted strangely and believed music talked to him. He was in the emergency room for almost 2 days and the psych ward for a few days. He just got out friday and its so scary to be around him. My mom is devastated and everyone is concerned. My room doesnt really have a lock so im constantly on edge. I sleep well and deeply but wakeup feeling exhausted. Im mopy all the time. My brother is better but he thinks hes Moses now. He believes it so strongly i find myself second guessing who the heck I am.
Hes taking antipsychotic pills and wasnt diagnosed with anything. Doctors think its a drug related issue and it could go away even though his blood tests were negative. Its only been a few days since he got out and i feel like im absolutely suffocating. I hear my mother crying in the shower and when shes ready to sleep. I try not to cry at work but otherwise cry almost all the time. I loathe going home and I want to stay out all the time, except I feel awful to leave my mom home watching him on her own. But i also dont think i can shoulder all of this stress. I have 2 jobs and start school again soon. I have a final exam i didnt do because i had to take my brother to the hospital. Everything is spiraling out of control.
Tonight he burst into my room looking for his wallet. He thinks his money is infinite so i have hidden it from him. He was looking through all my things and yelling getting visibly more irritated. Then he tells me hes Moses and hes the reason i get sleepy. He says he doesnt need to sleep. We threaten to call the police- and he says hes not scared of the police.
He was getting so angry i really thought we should. To add insult to injury, i heard my mom making an appointment for a scan or somesort because she has a breast lump.
Were supposed to take him to an apt for a mental health plan thing on thursday. I hope they hold on to him for the whole month. And i feel awful to even think that.
Im scared my brother will never be the same again. Whats going to become of our lives?
Has anyone heard from our dear admin and friend Gregsbaby? I haven't seen her around in a bit and her last couple of journals were a bit troubling... Is anyone in touch with her at all? I'm concerned. GB if you read this, know we all love you here and I just want to know you're safe.
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