Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I don't know why, I have a pretty good life, but there are times when I have no motivation. None. There are things that I would like to do in theory, and I have the opportunity to do them, and then I don't. I don't know if it's the fear of failure, or the feeling that I don't have a person to share these activities and things with, or a sense of giving up, but I then don't do these things. I don't cry too much and I don't feel terribly sad...I just feel very tired and...nothing.
I sometimes wonder if it is because when I have tried things they have failed, and badly. My career has been uphill to say the least, and after a year of unemployment, I found myself locked into the new job from hell. (after taking leave of absence for a while). No exaggeration on the from hell part.
I also have had several relationships which have not worked out, and a few situations in which I was pushed out of cliques. At one point I had someone come up to me and tell me that they noticed that I was being ignored, and at that point, when someone pointed it out to me, I have to say that I was embarrassed that it was obvious. On the previous job that I had I was told that I was the weakest link there. In my family, well it turned out to be really dysfunctional, and in middle school my dad, while probably drinking, said to me that I could get out of the family. I'm not making these things up, though it does sound like a long list of woe is me. Maybe I am getting caught up in woe is me. But, there is another part of me that is saying, "if things don't work out, why try?" Perhaps this is another aspect of the disease of woe is me. Or, maybe I'm a little worn out from failure. I don't know if I've had it more or less hard than anyone else, perhaps to an extent. But there is this pervasive sense inside of giving up, or of almost even an inability to try. Is this what is called learned helpnessness, or in some situations, turning in the towel might be called for. I'm not sure.
I sometimes wonder if it is because when I have tried things they have failed, and badly. My career has been uphill to say the least, and after a year of unemployment, I found myself locked into the new job from hell. (after taking leave of absence for a while). No exaggeration on the from hell part.
I also have had several relationships which have not worked out, and a few situations in which I was pushed out of cliques. At one point I had someone come up to me and tell me that they noticed that I was being ignored, and at that point, when someone pointed it out to me, I have to say that I was embarrassed that it was obvious. On the previous job that I had I was told that I was the weakest link there. In my family, well it turned out to be really dysfunctional, and in middle school my dad, while probably drinking, said to me that I could get out of the family. I'm not making these things up, though it does sound like a long list of woe is me. Maybe I am getting caught up in woe is me. But, there is another part of me that is saying, "if things don't work out, why try?" Perhaps this is another aspect of the disease of woe is me. Or, maybe I'm a little worn out from failure. I don't know if I've had it more or less hard than anyone else, perhaps to an extent. But there is this pervasive sense inside of giving up, or of almost even an inability to try. Is this what is called learned helpnessness, or in some situations, turning in the towel might be called for. I'm not sure.
and sometimes, it takes so long, you're sure it won't happen, but it does happen.... Most people know better than to get behind the wheel of their car if they've been drinking, yet many are willing to be drunk around their children, doing and saying unforgiveable and damaging things that they can never undo, and often don't even remember. Many actually believe that they're nicer, etc., but their children feel very differently.
Turning in the towel should never sound like a good idea. That just means you aren't thinking right and need to find some type of help.
Help with stress is getting a lot of attention lately, because the solutions aren't working for many people. But, alternative, safer and inexpensive things that help people don't get much attention and some of them work. I understand that some people can't function normally without medication.
A little anger helps. When I treat someone badly, I feel bad about it, try to make amends and try to do better. I don't feel bad about what someone else believes, how unfair I think something is. I no longer spend time worrying about things I can't do anything about.
A little, here and there, but it isn't like a full time job, now.
I can relate to not wanting to try things because of how things have gone in the past, but, there have been a couple of things this year that I accomplished (only significant to me) that I had pretty much decided were beyond me. When you give up, that wont happen. Also, inspirational quotes remind me of things other people have overcome and help me be optimistic.
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"If you fall behind, run faster. Never give up, never surrender, and rise up against the odds." Jesse Jackson
So, no matter what you are dealing with at the time, just remember what you are thankful for, and it could always be worse. Hope you feel better soon.
Now, I have asked for help and am trying to get better. I had not realized how depression had affected me until I started seeing my life differently. I am also on Wellbutrin, though not long enough to see the therapeutic results. This support group is great, and the self-help books I am doing are working well.
I do not think throwing in the towel is good either. Try those things that you want and see how it works out. I am doing this right now as well. Most of my life hasn't had any type of failures in it (minus my marriage) and I still have issues, so I know it is has to be hard if you are dragging the since of failure around too. But I agree with the past post that it is better to try and fail. Good luck to you.