Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Everything I have read says we are not to blame others for our problems.... we make our own choices, we decide how we react....blah blah blah.
I am really sorry, but I AM blaming others for my depression. I KNOW that if I had a loving family, instead of a Dad that was a mean alcoholic, instead of a mother who put herself first and made me responsible for my brothers and later her....if my husband would not continue to sleep in the guest room and treat me like a roommate instead of a wife..i would feel different about life. I am so unhappy today. I want to scream.. How are pills supposed to help when your miserable depressing situation doesn't change??
This is not fixable. How am supposed to get past that?!
I am really sorry, but I AM blaming others for my depression. I KNOW that if I had a loving family, instead of a Dad that was a mean alcoholic, instead of a mother who put herself first and made me responsible for my brothers and later her....if my husband would not continue to sleep in the guest room and treat me like a roommate instead of a wife..i would feel different about life. I am so unhappy today. I want to scream.. How are pills supposed to help when your miserable depressing situation doesn't change??
This is not fixable. How am supposed to get past that?!
You want "fix". That may not happen because you might have too much structure associated with what that verb means.
Look instead for "change". There is more freedom in change.
Your mother wants you to put her needs above all your other needs. The fix is for her to stop asking for so many favors, but that is under her control. Change is under your control.
Tell her "NO!". Then stick to it. Unless it is really crucial, try to delay ALL her requests. She needs new clothing? You will get her some when you go shopping next, no special trips. She wants her bed from home in her assisted living place? Delay it, even if you can do it right away. Tell her you need to line up people to help you move it. If you can't get your husband or brother to help move it then hire somebody (from HER funds) to help move it.
Change is how you get past something that is not fixable!
My wife, because of her diabetes, makes me feel like I am a roommate from time to time and I often feel like I am "hired help" so I am a little familiar with the feelings you are having.
If I can ever be a listening ear, just let me know.
stuck
GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK AND CHANGE OF SCENERY.................
GO ON A TRIP............................
GBU
D
;-O
And I agree very much with your perspective...I have found that life circumstances make the biggest differences in my depression.
A few years ago, my life was not at all what I wanted it to be, but I treated my depression as a problem within me. While there were certainly things about myself that I have changed, the biggest differences came from changing the conditions of my life--from being lonely to finding love, to having a lousy job to having a really great work life, from having dull and jerkish friends to having smart and kind friends.
Making this changes was not easy...I had to recognize the need and make things happened. Also, I still have some depressive tendencies. That's still certainly part of my character. But sometimes the problem is not "in" us, and the best thing we can do is to make our lives different.
I wish you well on this journey, and I hope that you'll stay active on this board to let us know how you are doing.
Chin up....we don't have to continue to focus on the past (although I DO).....we can try to find more peace and happiness in the future...
I laughed when you said blah..blah...blah....struck me....LOL
Not even the child molesters and murderers are pieces of shit....very damaged people that are going around ruining others lives...but there are psychological reasons why. I know many would disagree that these 2 classes of people ARE pieces of shit...I just don't agree.
It breaks my heart to hear someone say that they are a piece of shit. Seems someone has brainwashed you badly...I hope you are able to find help.
We are products of our upbringing and some things are just impossible to completely get over from bad parenting, bullying, or take your pick.