i dont have any words of advice or wisdom to offer you. geez, if i did id be taking my own advice and getting out of the shithole that is my life. i do understand how you feel though. i know i have everything in life i could ask for. i have money, a home, friends, family, job etc. but i dont enjoy any of it. things that used to be fun are now a drag or down right painful. its seems like my life is just nothing. thats the depression talking, i know.
i hope you are surrounded by people who love you.
ps, my kitty cats are a great comfort to me too.

Alcohol and medications don't mix. I would try to get rid of the alcohol because alcohol just cancels out the medications. Medications are an upper, and alcohol is a downer and when they mix it cancels them both out. Thusly, you're wasting money on your medicine. Get rid of the alcohol and give your medicine a chance to help. Also, keep looking for the right counselor. Someone once told me that people could go through many different counselors before they found one that could actually help. Just keep counting your blessings and believe things will get little better and a little easier.

I think, after so long, there is a point where our open heartedness, efforts, and ambition to TRY FOR life ceases to be met with a REWARD/DESIRED OUTCOME. So, what do we do? We COMPROMISE. More often than not, it still doesn't get us a reward/desired outcome. This makes us even more exhausted. What we don't know is that just because it hasn't happened yet, after all this time and effort, doesn't mean that those "rewards" will never happen.

Yes, I am exhausted myself. I am exhausted to the point that I forgot what it was like to TRY and BELIEVE IN a desirable outcome. This makes us stop trying everything altogether. When our needs are "never" met, then getting needs met must not exist, right? Well, I don't know, to be honest with you. But, I DO know that if we don't try, we'll NEVER truly and fully benefit from what life may have to offer. Life could very well offer us something GREAT and we can't reach it because we have already QUIT. It's there, but we won't take it.

I think that's a shame.

P.S. Alcoholism is not the only thing that can alleviate boredom and unwanted anxiety. It's making a problem to mask another problem. It's counteractive and will just keep repeating itself in full circle making your issues with boredom and anxiety worse.

There is a great 12 step program to stop drinking called Alcoholics Anonymous. It could be what you're looking for. Good luck, I understand your frustration.

Drinking always seems like a good idea until I do it. I learned that it magnified my anxiety tenfold. I haven't had a drink in over two years now, and my anxiety level is managable. I'm still working on my depression, but the anxiety is much better.

Give it a try. I'm 100% convinced that it will help.

I don't know if I have any words of wisdom but I most certainly will try to help you feel better and let you know that you are not alone in all of this. I live with someone who feels just like you do. She is depressed all the time because she just feels as though life is a bore and nothing ever changes. She gets up, takes her meds, eats her breakfast, and does the crossword puzzle. Then she reads. I'm talking about my mother. She has COPD and I try so hard to get her to go out and walk for as long as she can to build up her lungs and muscles and to try and volunteer again which will keep her busy and she will meet new friends. That is how I found my best friend. . I just hear the excuses. However, she doesn't hesitate to tell me that she will not let me lay in bed if I'm depressed. I am not going to get on your case about your drinking because you already know it all, especially the fact that it causes depression to be twice as bad. I grew up with alcoholic family my entire life and the depression and anger came with it. Have you ever noticed that when you drink, that you think you are avoiding the unwanted anxiety and boredom, but really, it's still there? And it's definitely worse the next day? I'm glad to hear that you have at least given therapy a try but I'm sure there is the right one out there for you. They are for some reason, very hard to find. When you find the right one, you will just know it. I have had very bad luck with therapists so I can understand your frustration. I hope you will continue to work on finding the right therapist for you. some women do better with females, and others do better with males. That is important to know going in as well. I hope you feel better soon!

I here ya on the being bored with everything. There was a time when I was bored with it all. I even saw my coworkers as little drones doing the same thing everyday. It was right before my last battle with major depression. I felt no joy, felt like a burden, etc etc. We all know the feelings.

You know drinking is not helping, I am sure it only adds to your anxiety. Those hangovers are hell. I know, I use to self medicate with alcohol myself. AA works if you work it. Yes, a saying, but it is true. I don't know if your an alcoholic or not, that is your decision. But, mixing you xanax with alcohol every night is something to look at. It could kill you.

I think you need a change? Is it possible to move somewhere else, you say you're surrounded by alcoholics, that mustn't be helping you much?

I had a drinking problem until recently. Every time something bad happened I would turn to alcohol, drink til I couldn't remember. But it never made anything better, and sometimes actively made things worse. This time, I'm going through a break up and a general rough patch, I made the conscious decision not to drink. I've been driving every time I go out. I feel like its made the healing process easier (especially without the drunk texts!).

The boredom of depression is most often the worst part for me. I feel you, I really do. Do you know of anything, anything at all, that you feel good doing or passionate about? Something as little as washing your hair with a new shampoo, or something as big as following your dreams. Sometime I find I just need some sort of change to pull me out of a rut.

Yeah! Like change the furniture around!