Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Well it is almost here and I have not accomplished a damn thing in the past year. I am no where near where I want to be in my life, and honestly I feel like my best years have passed. I am turning 35 and I have no job ( career), husband, or kids. I feel like and believe that I am a total loser. It scares the hell out of me- getting older that is. It is so depressing and brings tears to my eyes that I won't ever have any children. I would like to think that everyone has a purpose in life, but it isn't clear to me what my purpose is. I have so many things preventing me from being a successful person. Honestly I think it's too late anyway I am almost 40 years old. So I guess I will die an old maid........
I guess I've always seen myself being so much further than where I am now. I had these high hopes and standards of me being somebody totally different and greater yet I seemed to have failed myself once again. I feel so alone and clueless at times.
I'm learning how to accept myself though. I think that's my biggest issue. I'm not accepting my life and where I am in it. I'm comparing myself to other people my age who are doing more than me and I'm feeling ostracized.
And I've been dealing with anxiety and panic disorder for the past 3 weeks and it's caused me to be in this state of derealization and depersonalization. So I too feel like "what is the actual purpose of my life." I feel like I don't even know what makes me happy anymore.
I think I've isolated myself so much to the point where I feel out of touch with myself. It's like I don't even know who I really am anymore.
But I'm getting better. And I'm starting to accept who I am now. And accept what I can't change and what is. Maybe we set the standards to high for ourselves that we become egotistical and feel let down when our lives don't turn out the way we wanted or expected.
But every 45 year old I know has told me "enjoy the moment" and "don't worry too much." Never really understanding what they meant, I just smiled and agreed. But I think I truly understand now what they mean. Nobodies life turns out the way they expected it too. Because that's life.
Yes. You can set a goal for yourself and make it happen but that's not always how life works. Especially, when it comes to marriage and kids. We can't force ourselves to be in love and have kids with someone. We'd be more depressed than we were before.
I think we just have to be optimistic and not judge ourselves. It's hard but people do overcome this. It really all is just a phase. We're all faced with these challenges in life and weren't taught how to deal with them. But we will. And soon you will be happy.
You will find somebody and have kids. And even if you can't physically have them, you can adopt. Remember you don't have to live up to anybody's standard. This is YOUR life. Nobody else can live it but you. Take pride in that. I know it's not easy but you will get there. And if I was given a dollar for every time I heard somebody say they'll never be inlove or they'll never have kids and in a few months or years later from that they end up in love with kids, I'd be Bill Gates rich. Lol I'd have to put a lot of my own money in their too but that's not the point.
Try to get out more often and try your hardest to meet new people. Meet with other single friends. Or don't be afraid of meeting somebody and going on a date. It might be horrible but hey, it's worth a shot. It's better to try something than to try nothing. I'm going to message you a funny and interesting article about feeling like you'll never find true love again! You'll love it.
And oh P.S. Start looking for work. Apply to 3 jobs a day. Challenge yourself. In 2 weeks to a month you should definitely get a call from somewhere. Even if you don't really know what you want to do now(career wise), getting out will help you find inspiration to figuring what it is you really want to do. Start getting out more often.
And 35 is not old! 30's the new 20's! Haven't you heard? Lol Lots and I mean looots of people are 35 years old and don't have their shit together. It's pretty normal actually. And just as much as very little can happen in a year, very muuch can happen in a year as well. You can get a lot accomplished in a year from now. Start with today. Not with where you thought you should be, where you wanna be, but where you are. Try to live in the now.
Hope this helps!