From what I hear, bipolar is one of the hardest diagnosis to get right; do your doctors specialize in bipolar? If not then perhaps getting a referral to a bipolar specialist would help.

Getting meds right can be really hard, have you considered new doctors and having them re-work your meds to get rid of the side effects you do not like?

Hugs

The sudden burst of energy for 3-5 days sounds like a typical mania episode that goes along with bipolar. I have unipolar Major Depressive Disorder and never experience any manic episodes like that. With that said, you are probably on the right track with treatment, but it sounds like your meds need to be tweaked a little to reduce the fatigue. Also, as far as the cause of your depression, you have to ask yourself if you felt this way before the chronic pain, or was that the onset of your depressive symptoms?

Are you actually truly asking what's wrong with you? you're in constant pain. That sucks the life out of a person. We all have natural cyclic highs and lows, and maybe some of your cyclic highs break through the constant draining effects of the pain - but if you were not dealing with this constant pain, how would you be feeling? Before you had the digestive problems, did you have extreme mania ever?

What I want to know is what kinds of food elimination diets have you been on to identify foods you can consume? I have a workmate who is on an incredibly restricted diet, but it controls her abdominal problems.

Have you been on any fasts? Liquid diets? What has been done to attempt to isolate whatever it is that is putting you in agony?

Thanks everyone. None of this happened until I started having pain. When you are at it as long as I have been, life becomes difficult and ultimately fuels my depression. I feel like a lazy slob. Mornings are hell I get awakened at 5:00 a.m. and by mind numbing abdominal cramping and pain. Usually, by noon, the pain drops to a deal able level, but i'm exhausted by then. I have struggled with motivation for a long time now. I hate being at home by myself, my mood goes downhill when I am alone. I was progressing until it started raining 5 days ago. I've tried dThanks everyone. None of this happened until I started having pain. When you are at it as long as I have been, life becomes difficult and ultimately fuels my depression. I feel like a lazy slob. Mornings are hell I get awakened at 5:00 a.m. and by mind numbing abdominal cramping and pain. Usually, by noon, the pain drops to a deal able level, but i'm exhausted by then. I have struggled with motivation for a long time now. I hate being at home by myself, my mood goes downhill when I am alone. I was progressing until it started raining 5 days ago. I just don't feel like doing anything, I never go anywhere except my parents and my neighbor, who is gone alot of the time. I have just lost all confidence in myself. I used to go go go, now I'm like a turtle! Lol It doesn't do much for my self esteem . Sly

Sly I'm going to make terrible sisterly comments about men who go go go and then hit the wall. It happens a lot: guys push themselves ferociously 'through the pain' and then get sick, and don't know what to do with themselves because they have to stop, and reflect, and be slow and do nothing and they don't know how...

You're being given a time in your life in which to slow down and learn how to be at peace in silence and alone. it involves terrible pain, yes. But there is opportunity here too. A lot of wonderful creativity is born of pain, and silence, and loneliness. Some things in your life you can never do unless you are alone; you need to find them, and do them now, while you are given the opportunity.

Have you ever wanted to do something creative, like paint, or write a novel? When you lie in bed doing nothing, what wells up inside you? Music? Sculpture?

I know this sounds a bit nancy. Maybe you can mannify it a bit - eg instead of sculpture, maybe cabinetmaking or something. But the thing is, you have to turn the nightmare upside down. you have to find the one thing you can do now that you would not be able to access if you were well, and grasp it, and learn from it.

This is the only way I have managed to cope with the dark times in my life, I have never found any other way to get through. And what happens when you embrace this time, is that somehow it shifts something in the universe and you can climb out of it. But while you don't give the universe your very best, it somehow doesn't give you its best either.

And meanwhile - diet. What are you doing? What are your specialists doing? What do you eat, what can you eat?