Hi desperate, I'm sorry you're going through this.

Healing is such a personal process and it's a little different for everyone. Self-love is a must: you must love and forgive yourself (if you are holding onto any guilt?) I think once you decide you are ready for help, something will show up for you.

In a way the answer is in the question. Take steps toward a better life. Think of what you want to change, how you want to grow, and think of ONE THING you can do to help make that happen. I think it's that simple. Keep doing that every day. Much love and hugs!

Healing any deep wound, whether emotional or physical or spiritual, is going to take a lot of time and care. You may be left with a scar from all you've been through, but you can heal.
baby steps in the right direction is still progress. Your past will always be your past - that can not change. But you can change your present and your future by caring for yourself and your bf and anyone else that matters to you.
Just keep trying. You are worth the effort.

Abuse in a job is difficult, because we need money and, unlike a personal relationship, where we can more easily walk away, because we need money, we have to continue to take the abuse of the job, until, if ever, we can find a less abusive job, and abuse from a job is the gift that keeps on giving.

Sometimes it's necessary to fight, abuse the abuser right back. Sometimes it's necessary to be resigned to a blase acceptance. And sometimes it's necessary to be a smart-alec, diffuse abuse with sarcastic humor.

Sometimes it's just a matter of coming up with better WORDS, to say to ourselves and to each other, so we communicate more effectively, and thus any notion of "abuse" is diffused.

I attend Unity Church and voraciously read positive spiritual self-help books. It's increased my positive word power tremendously, helped me relax, be grateful and more fearlessly interact with others.

It is hard to move on and make a better life but you can do it. Don't let people abuse you anymore, say it has to stop here! You are a treasure, you are worth value and not to be trampled underfoot, but some will if you let them. You are old enough now that you can say no more! Find a new job, best time to find one is when you have one, then you don't come across as desperate. Also, if you let them know you have another offer (be sure you do) then they might say please don't go and treat you better, knowing you won't put up with it. Stand up for yourself, don't let them trample you. Also, taking magnesium and ginseng calm the mind body and spirit and get rid of sticky negative thoughts. They help a lot with sleep too, take them in the evening. IN the mornings, take B complex, it helps with energy focus and memory, so you will feel more up to it all. Do something you love, take classes, go to groups and studies, there is so much available and free now either online or local. You've got this, it will be better now, you are taking the steps. =)