Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Well tonight I took the first step towards starting to walk in the path to recovery, it's been a long time since I opened up to anyone and this person I talked to directed me here so I hope something good happens, anyway I've been isolated for about 10 months locked in my room with minor contact with my family, yes I live back at home, I've been back home since my 9 year girlfriend who was my fiance left me but that's not why I'm here I'm here because for years I've been very depressed and as the time has passed its gotten worse to the point that a simple task like getting up in the morning has become super hard, I was fine until last year when I started isolating myself slowly away from my friends and I have little to no social life now , I've gone completely awol and locked away in my room for about 10 months now and this right here is probably the most talking or writing I've done in that period of time, I feel worthless everyday, but mostly during the night is when I lay down and close my eyes wishing I die, I'm not the type of person who wants to cause any self harm, I just don't care whether I live or die, it will not matter to anyone anyway in my opinion, there's more to the story and I don't want to go into more detail but I've been miserable for a very long time and most of the time I like t spend alone because I feel absolutely dead inside already, most of the time I ask myself, why am I here? Why am I alive? What am I supposed to do with my life? But nothing comes to mind I don't know, why should I be alive? , I've been through a lot just like most of you and there's messed up things I don't feel comfortable sharing yet, I just want to say that this mindstate this depression is affecting my life in a ver negative way, I'm done feeling like this, I'm done being stuck in this depression that makes me not function like I once did, I was unhappy then but not thus bad... What can I do? I can't reach out to my family because I have so many problems with them, I can't reach out to friends because they all have either married, moved and some are no longer here, so who do I go to for answers? God? But is he even real? I'm not a believer at all, I've cursed him so many times but I have apologized too to something I'm not sure it's real, I am dying everyday inside, I feel like I'm not me anymore but someone different who I don't like, I stopped eating I'm on my third day with no food only water, not because I'm not hungry but because my body won't let me, my depression won't let go of the real me.
The best thing I did when I had depression is to make a decision to have a change of environment. I traveled and meet some new people and don't ever ever forget to ask for help no matter how hard and difficult it is for you. Swallow your pride and have the courage to share your story.
If you want to get better, it is possible but it is a slow process. The key is that you have to be aware and dedicated to get well. I don't know what you are going through in your life or what wrong decisions you had in the past but What I do know is that you are not alone and some are more suffering than you do.
There must something to be grateful everyday dear, the house you lived in, the water you drank, the clothes you wear, internet access. Acknowledge all the blessings you received everyday. Stay in the light dear ;) I am here if you need someone to talk to.
Good luck to you.
Sometimes we have to challenge ourselves to come up with answers we can't find the usual way.
They say that mental illness is 'all in your head' and the silly thing is, that it is. It's a series of choices and decisions. For instance you might think about making a decision to go get counselling or a doctor's prescription. Nobody wants to hide in their room for 9 months. Nobody thinks that's fun. To be compelled to do it sounds like something medication can make go away, basically. Make go away and leave you able to get back out and into things.
Have a holiday from yourself. Go see the doctor. Just give it a go.
this is not meant to bash on anyone or their opinion , I just truly feel like we humans have gotten to comfortable with taking drugs to make us feel better and we don't fight enough for ourselves by ourselves to confront our fears and anxieties , all of us a capable of getting better but the most important thing is wanting to get better and fighting for your life , i don't deny the fact drugs cant help but is at the cost of you losing that spark that makes you , YOU .
still i hope everyone who needs help finds a way out , if drugs or doctors help you then go for it but your health is first , personally I'm going to beat this alone. I already declared war on depression and I have to win , I'm going to win .