Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
I don't even know what to say. I'm alone, completely alone. I am going to be 39 in a month and I am at a standstill in life. I have never really found my place. I have spent the last 20ish years being a mother to four children and a girlfriend to a man that, saw me as a means to an end. I finally ended that two years ago. His children no longer have anything to do with me and my children are teenagers. One has rebelled and is living her own way and the other is busy with teen drama and fun plans. I find that 99% of the time I am just home alone. I haven't had the courage to start another relationship since. Dating is terrifying these days. I have one friend that I see every couple of weeks but other than that no one. I was let go from my last job after three years. It was a huge surprise and still feels like I have been hit by a truck. I thought I was doing really well. It feels like I have been kicked out of the family. And to throw the cherry on top of this sundae of despair, two weeks ago my car stopped running. I knew it was on its way out but I had no idea I wouldn't have a job to replace it.
I didn't tell you all that to get anything from it. I told you because I want... need someone, anyone to understand the demons I fight daily. The constant doubts in myself. I look in the mirror and I'm disgusted by what I see. I know I need to eat better and exercise so I start a routine. Three weeks in I can stop myself from thinking, why? Why are you trying so hard for nothing? You're not worth it. It's not going to get you anywhere. No one even knows you exist. And there is never anyone around to hear anything different.
So now I'm looking toward the future and I don't see anything. It's blank. When my youngest graduates, I don't know what my purpose is from there. How do I pick myself up, by myself, and find a happy life for myself? Everything I have ever wanted to do has always just been dreams. I don't have much education and from what I have been told I'm not really good at anything. I've thought about taking the last little bit of money I have, driving cross country, and starting over. Hoping I would find a companion and learn to feel comfortable socializing. The thought of doing it all alone terrifies me. How do I escape myself when there is no one else? I am my own worst bully. That horrible voice that torments me constantly.... You're not worth it. Nobody cares not even you...
But I do care and I don't want to feel this way anymore. I need help.
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Does anyone follow her? She's really got some good tips.
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to see if there are any low cost clinics.
"99% of the time I am just home alone."
You are the envy of many.
First of all, you need to learn (a lot) about Self Esteem. Google it and learn. It is essential for happiness. Inadequate self esteem will put anyone where you are mentally.
Counseling? Why not? Find out why you have the feelings you have toward yourself. They are not doing you a lot of good.
You have the world at your fingertips. Standing at the doorway to immense LIFE. Scared to go through the door.
This can all be 'fixed'. Talk to a mental health pro. Learn about self esteem and happiness. Teach yourself to learn what you do not know.
Get yourself busy ... sitting at home, not liking yourself, in fear,, unmotivated "99% if the time" does not nourish the mind and soul.
It all awaits you or nothing awaits you. It's up to you.