Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
There are times where i just sit there and question everything in my life. things like why am i not further in my life, or why am i here. i question at times the peoples lives that im in, am i holding them back. My wife and my daughter would they be better in life if were not around. How can i support my family that i have wanted for so long and now have, when i am only this far along in life.
I at one time had filled an emptyness with texting people i shouldn't have and chatting about things i shouldnt with them. when i got caught my life was falling apart in front of my eyes. but i fought to keep my family together. but every day is a new battle and its difficult at times with that past addiction trying to creep back into my life. and these times of feeling empty and so lost with what to do. where to go. who to talk to. i had people i used to talk to over the last couple months but lost touch with some of that support. tried to find some new support with no luck.
and now i have a new challenge presented to me. and a battle that is never in my favor. i am being accused of something i didnt' do by the spouse of someone. they claim things happend but never did. and with my past i fear that its a battle i will loose for sure. and if i loose, my family i have wanted for so long, will be gone. there is evidence of things that happend but not of what is being said. like messages between two people but about something completely different than what is said.
this battle is one that will destroy my mind after having to go thru a minefield and loosing.
Don't go off the deep end here..... Work it out.
Then again I'm not an expert and may be way off base here. And you don't have to listen to me either.
It sounds like you have some fundamental problem that needs to be addressed. Like why is your wife not enough for you? Do you feel like you have some sort of savior complex? Maybe look at some books on behavioral issues and see a doctor.
There are plenty of lonely people out there and there is a support group for it here, but I can tell you that none of us are cheaters or homewreckers. Find a healthy alternative like volunteer work and the fact that you will be too busy to have thoughts like this will be reward enough itself. Stop looking for the instant gratification of those texts. Stop wasting time pursuing things that don't get you anywhere and maybe you will get somewhere. Maybe question what you think your future should look like. It may be a false reality sold to you like a commercial. Safety and security are fine but material goods don't bring happiness, nor should you think that buying a big house and fancy shit for your family is going to make them love and appreciate you more. It won't. You faking being nice and doing the right thing for a reward? You will be punished. Learn to be genuine, set some goals, and motivate yourself. If you continue to have these thoughts that you don't need to be around, maybe you should seek counseling and medication because those thoughts are harmful to you and your family. If she wants to stay by you, appreciate that and stay by her. She has hope that you will be better. Are you just going to let her down because that's the easiest thing to do?
And about the spouse that accused you of home wrecking....you're both men right? Can't you just go over there, tell him nothing happened, then ask him to fight? After you take your ass whooping just call a truce and everyone will feel better.
That's all I got. Good luck.