I'm currently in the same boat, last week was rough and now I'm stuck in all these thoughts and I'm wondering the same, thinking what's the point when I always resort back to this negativity. Maybe I'm just exhausted though and I'll be feeling more hopeful in days to come, sending hugs and hoping you'll be okay.

I'm sorry to hear that, and i am relate. It feels as though no matter how hard i try it always comes back. I can be happy for a split second and then something in my brain switches and I start to think and I get trapped in my own thoughts.

I too have felt that maybe if I were dead things would be easier...but my dad committed suicide and it sure as hell left a void in my life and did not make anything better.

So every time you feel suicidal ...I take very little steps...be it rolling out of bed and plonking on the floor next to it....and then the next day attempt to dress up after plonking on the floor...but you get my drift...dont overwhelm yourself..just go now and write your little steps and tick as you go...and you will get there. or call a suicide line...they are always there to lend a ear. but even doing this is a good thing...get it out of your system...there so many people going through this...nothing to be ashamed of

also you mentioned negative thoughts...I recently read an article...and it is a about stopping the mind chatter....so literally in the morning - schedule it in- write out what it is that your mind is worried about...just write it on a piece of paper...once it is noted...tell your mind it can take a break...and then go do something else..with practice...your mind will slowly go quiet as it feels like it has been attended to...its like another person in there giving you the bleakest view of your life possible...it suxs...because if only the chatter were positive ...telling you you can do something etc...it would be better but sometimes that positive come out as well and you should pay attention to the positive one...lol

its like one is a devil and one is an angel

I have dealt with mind chatter...absolutely not fun ...but these tips have helped me and i hope it would do the same for you