i was trying to get through the day on a positive note and then i made the mistake of going into my mom's room and talking with her about family issues.  wow, what a powder keg.  i don't have the time or energy to get into the whole thing but it was bad. a bad screaming argument.  basically, she is living with me because she needs my help and has no where else to go right now and because of that she is bringing these atrocious people/my other family members into my life.  my father who physically abused me while i was growing up (she was there and did nothing), my brother and sister who are cold hearted aholes and treat me like sh8t.  my mom just won't stick up for herself.  she says that "family's have to try to work things out"   I say, there is a point where you no longer are working things out by staying in relationships with people but you are just being abused.  that is the point i feel i am at with most of my family. 

I really want to help my mom and let her live with me because i want her to have a place to be where someone cares about her and will look after her.  it's either this or assisted living which she doesn't want.  but i don't know how much more of this crap i can take.

i feel really bad.  why is it that everyone in my life is unsupportive, awful and abusive in one way or another.  i feel like that is abnormal.  or is it?  i don't know because i don't think i have ever had a healthy relationhship with anyone except my pets.

does anyone else have this kind of problem.  i know i am not the only one but i feel like it.  it's like i don't get along with anyone.  I feel like i am going crazy.  and yea, i'm depressed too.  

i'm trying so hard  not to overeat but this shxt is pushing over the edge and then i start to stuff my face.  i desperately need to lose some weight and i've told my mom this.  please mom do not upset me too much or i can't diet.  but it always happens.  if i can't lose some weight i may actually lose my job.

arrgghh. thx for letting me vent here.