Depression Support Group

Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.

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papelle 09/21/2017

First post to this group...I have a bunch of chronic illnesses (stomach, bladder, gynological) as well as menopause that have led me into depression. This has been a truly shit year...anyway, I had a good week last week (symptoms were manageable). Started to get hopeful again. And today, all is crap. Lots of pain, tired, depressed, everything is terrible. I don't seem to be able to gather enough energy in my better times to do the things I need to do...I am supposed to be seeing physiotherapist, a psychologist, making an appt to follow up with gastro enterologist, I need to address some paperwork for my disability insurance, not to mention pay bills, housework etc. I seem to be unable to do more than one or two tasks a week even when I am feeling better. It is ridiculous. And then I have a day like today where I basically rolled from my bed to the couch and cannot even shower or make myself anything to eat as I am incapacitated with tiredness (the hours spent in bed and on my couch are not spent sleeping unfortunately), pain and depression. So I get virtually nothing done and my life continues to spiral downwards into nothingness. Everything just gets worse. There is no hope for me. I will never get better and I am alone in dealing with it. I have no partner, no kids, nothing and no one to live for. I don't know what to do anymore. I've posted here before about how I'm ready to give up but I keep going. I don't think I will ever kill myself but there is no denying that I have very little hope left. On days like today I would welcome death with relief. I think that there will be a time where that feeling is every day. And then what will I do? I'm typing this now and thinking "Why are you spending time posting instead of googling psychologists in your neighbourhood?". For some reason though, that task (and all the other small tasks) seems insurmountable. I wish I had someone to help me achieve the steps I need to take to keep going, make those appointments etc. But it is all on me, so, instead I will lie here and waste another day waiting to die.

Photo-1 09/21/2017

I can definitely relate to how you are feeling. I was diagnosed with lyme disease in march and gi issues last year. Two days after Christmas was told I have sjogrens syndrome in addition to being diagnosed with hypothyroidism in August of 2015. This all started as a result of a very unhappy marraige. Thank goodness I got a divorce last July because he cared nothing for what I was going through. I am very depressed and fatigued all the time. I do have family but everyone is very busy with their own lives. I know what it's like to not be able to function. I still work a very physical job and there are days I dont think I can take another step. My dr just changed my meds so I am praying for better days soon. Please don't give up. Keep pushing forward. I know it's tough. I keep telling myself that all of this pain will make me stronger even though it's very hard physically and emotionally. I am praying that you will feel better soon. Keep pushing forward!

papelle 09/21/2017

Thanks :). I go on this site and complain and there is always someone suffering worse :(. In a way I don't even want to go on this site because I just feel bad for everyone and all the misery and pain people have to deal with. At the same time, I get frustrated with people whose problems seem relatively minor and they are complaining :). I just want to say to them "My god, you have your health! Go out and live your life!". I've been getting sicker and sicker for the last 7 years...I can't believe that I took my relatively healthy life for granted for so long! I regret not living more fully as it seems as though that is all over for me. I will keep pushing forward as I really have no other choice I guess. Not yet anyway. I hope your new meds help you. Thanks for responding.

lymeandfriends 09/22/2017

Thank you for responding, and I wish you the best. I will keep you updated, are you presently on antibiotics?

fredrica 09/24/2017

I am so sorry that you are going through such a rough time. The wonderful thing is that you are reaching out to others in this forum. This tells me that there are things that you can do for yourself and that you do have some desire to make it. Have you tried making a list of all of things that you need to do? You may only complete one thing each day, but something is better than nothing. This may give you a sense of accomplishment and give some type of purpose or goal to achieve each day. I pray that God will strengthen you and direct you to the right therapist and supportive people to come alongside you and help you in your healing journey.

papelle 09/29/2017

Thanks frederica, but I am currently in too much pain to do anything about my depression. Can barely eat or sleep and am mostly incapacitated - haven't left the house in days. I'm hoping exhaustion will take over tonight and I'll be able to sleep through the pain for a few hours. People kill themselves from chronic pain. I understand that. I won't be able to deal with this forever. I am not at the crisis point yet, I am still hoping for relief as symptoms have abated (they never go away but they have been bearable). This is a bad day. But I am typing, so it is not the worst day.

Photo-1 10/03/2017

Sorry to hear that you are in so much pain. Please don't give up. Call your dr and tell them you are depressed and you need something to help you. I saw my dr two weeks ago and told her I was depressed. She adjusted my meds and put me on some supplements to help with the depression. It has helped me. Things can get better, don't give up! :-)

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