thats so sad. i wish you luck. thats all i can really say. and your be in my prayers.

Reisen, stop. It is hard and it is scary- but it is in your mind more. What can you do to help yourself? There is plenty jobs out there- OK may be not all of them nice or professional, but it is not the end, as you describe. I will pray for you too.

Reisen: Money can be a very powerful stressor and motivates people to do all kinds of things...good or bad. Find some alternatives....those credit counseling people that make the credit card people leave you alone while you pay what you can...There has to be some other agencies where you can get assistance until you get back on your feet. If there's any reason why you can't work -- even your current mental status -- can't you try to apply for disability....even short term? I don't know much about it, but I do know that there are a LOT of people out there that get assistance and are just fine. There's nothing wrong with getting help until you can get back on your feet. Meanwhile, it is NOT worth thinking about suicide. If you are SERIOUSLY thinking about it, call a crisis line, go to the ER, call a friend, whatever you can do. Your life is valuable and you are worth so much more than letting the end of money determine the end of life being worth living. Please don't do anything to yourself. There is help. We are here for you. You will find your way out of the darkness if you search for the light. Don't let go.

Ok, had some soup and feeling a bit, just a bit, better. This was and is truly a blow to the soul and I am living very light these days. Keep replies coming, they do help and, no, suicide is not on the top ten list of things I want to do.

I know this situation only too well. I was in bankruptcy and was near losing my home. I ended up refinancing my home and paying off the bankruptcy and having some extra money. However, I haven't found the right job. Thought I had one February with the hours I need--swing shift--but turned out the temp agency misled me and it was not a sure thing at all--THIS after weeks just twidding my thumgs. I feel so guilty spending money while out of work. Just awful--but I thought it would be ok. I need a swing shift so I can look for a job that is really more what I want. I feel panicky too. It makes you feel so unwanted, alone, and scared. And, if you are like me, guilty. I should have taken any old job but then I would have been stuck with it.

What are you doing? How about to get work in some cafe, or store, they always need people- this is just temporary staff. When I needed quick money I worked as waiter- no obligation, you can stop whenever you want.I know your situation is different, but just trying to help.

Hello Reisen, I totally hear you there. I am a entreprenuer (spelling). I've taking some risk in business venture in my young life, made some and lost some.. probably more lost then gain..lol I have friends who also in the same situation as you, they are professionals, with degree and experience. When they lost their job it seems like the end of the world. One time we were talking over dinner, I've suggested to look for something temporarely. Places like Home Depot, Lowe's or Wallmart.. anything larger retail. From you picture, you like an engineer (just guessing), gosh, amagine talking to a engineer at a home depot. The thing is, many professionals have so much pride, so many of them would only willing to work in their familiar field. As a Asian, we have a saying.. "Ride the Mule to Look for a Horse". Go out find some simple job, heck probably would be less stressful, and maybe able to meet some interesting people, who knows you may actually like it! :) Keep your chin up! Good Luck! :)

Money isnt the world. It just seems like it. Credit cards can write off stuff like that and get tax breaks. If you lose everything and your credit is shot...just start over. Get a job. Rent an apartment...something cheap. Live with just the escentials. Fall back on friends for support. Everyone messes up. You can get through it! I know its very scary!

Update: recovering better and developing plans of things to do. I rather expected unemployment to go away, but the shock of it is the hard part. I have some side consulting running and keeping the chin at least off of the floor. I wrote the first note very very depressed and angry.

Here's something to pay attention to - at 1:01pm, you were referring to "the end" (most of us would interpret that as suicide);
at 4:17pm,you said suicide is not on your top ten list of things to do, and by 8:29pm you said you are recovering better and making plans.
We all need to realize how bad we can feel sometimes, and how quickly it can turn around if we give it a chance. Not always this fast, but when you feel like it is all over, that is the time to procrastinate!! Also,be aware, that if you are really, really depressed, sometimes people actually commit suicide when they are getting BETTER - because when you are really down, you a)don't have enough energy to take the acton, and b)you are busy fighting for survival, and trying NOT to die. So beware. I think sometimes that is why it is so hard to overcome depression, it is less scary to be too depressed to actually do something harmful to yourself than to feel strong enough and have to face the options.

The reason I have had a hard time paying my bills lately is because all I can get are the low paying ones. Why do you all act like THAT is the answer. Some work ethic gone amok?

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