Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Hi everyone! I just wanted to let you guys know that I haven't forgotten you! I was advised to stay away from triggers, which consisted of reading/talking about my depression but after all this time, I thought what the hell. As some of you know, I got out of the hospital about six weeks ago. I advise anyone seriously considering suicide to go. It sucks, sure, but you meet a lot of down-to-earth amazing people. I met my best friend in the ward. Anyway, It's been over a month now and here's how life is going:
The hospital stay was definitely a catalyst for keeping me alive for a while. I was suicidal to the point where I was definitely going to go through with plans, so I needed to go to the ward. I felt safe from myself in there, as there is an extremely limited chance you can injure yourself in those places, and I could feel like sh*t without worrying that I was going to do something drastic.
I was put in an IOP which is nice but the leaders are overly positive and assume you can just think your way out of depression. In that sense, they mean well and are trying to give us tools, but a little invalidating to us severely depressed people. As of now, I feel safer from myself- less impulsive, that is- but still pretty bent on ending my life. I will not discuss any method here, as that is against the rules of the forum and also morally wrong, but I have learned of a quick and painless method to end it.
I am going to try one more thing first. I was happy and symptom-free the entire time I was with my ex. Even though she manipulated me, I'm going back to her. I know, stupid move, but it's better than dying right? Life is too short. There is so much death in the world. I can't live being this miserable, it's not worth it, and life is too short to live without the ones we love. That's how I see it. My ex has promised to get help and change. Then I can live back in the town I was happy in, get a decent job in my field, and if things fall apart with my ex again, I'll have the money this time to move out without having to move back home with my family which drives me absolutely bonkers.
I am sorry I've been MIA, trying to cheer myself up but nothing works. I hate everything. Not a thing on Earth that makes me smile. Feel very ready to die. I will try the move back in with my ex and if I still feel like sh*t, I have developed a very nice way to go on my 25th birthday. Into the world and out on the same day. How Shakespearian! It will be peaceful and lovely. I will say goodbye if I do decide to do this.
People at the hospital asked me why I would want to die. "You're young, you're pretty, you're well-educated, you've traveled all over the world, you're smart, you're nice, you have a lot of friends." Good points, they are all good points. What they don't understand is that all of those things are ego-boosters and the ego is false, non-existent, just a shell of my soul. My soul wants to die because it knows it cannot cheat death anyway. Might as well have some control. I hope you all are doing better. Love you.
The hospital stay was definitely a catalyst for keeping me alive for a while. I was suicidal to the point where I was definitely going to go through with plans, so I needed to go to the ward. I felt safe from myself in there, as there is an extremely limited chance you can injure yourself in those places, and I could feel like sh*t without worrying that I was going to do something drastic.
I was put in an IOP which is nice but the leaders are overly positive and assume you can just think your way out of depression. In that sense, they mean well and are trying to give us tools, but a little invalidating to us severely depressed people. As of now, I feel safer from myself- less impulsive, that is- but still pretty bent on ending my life. I will not discuss any method here, as that is against the rules of the forum and also morally wrong, but I have learned of a quick and painless method to end it.
I am going to try one more thing first. I was happy and symptom-free the entire time I was with my ex. Even though she manipulated me, I'm going back to her. I know, stupid move, but it's better than dying right? Life is too short. There is so much death in the world. I can't live being this miserable, it's not worth it, and life is too short to live without the ones we love. That's how I see it. My ex has promised to get help and change. Then I can live back in the town I was happy in, get a decent job in my field, and if things fall apart with my ex again, I'll have the money this time to move out without having to move back home with my family which drives me absolutely bonkers.
I am sorry I've been MIA, trying to cheer myself up but nothing works. I hate everything. Not a thing on Earth that makes me smile. Feel very ready to die. I will try the move back in with my ex and if I still feel like sh*t, I have developed a very nice way to go on my 25th birthday. Into the world and out on the same day. How Shakespearian! It will be peaceful and lovely. I will say goodbye if I do decide to do this.
People at the hospital asked me why I would want to die. "You're young, you're pretty, you're well-educated, you've traveled all over the world, you're smart, you're nice, you have a lot of friends." Good points, they are all good points. What they don't understand is that all of those things are ego-boosters and the ego is false, non-existent, just a shell of my soul. My soul wants to die because it knows it cannot cheat death anyway. Might as well have some control. I hope you all are doing better. Love you.
muskrattiger
I for one am happy you have decided to come back here .......I have had depreshion my hole life .....I never wanted to be here ....I had to stop driving because I found my self heading for the ditch or a tree ..and would just get the car under controll in time untill once I went in the ditch ...so I went for help and I stoped driving for six months .............i ..was in the hospital for 2 months ..at that time I was so bad I was shouting Dowen ..I stoped talking ..wouldent even look at anyone ..my h had to get me out of bed ...so ...him and my doctor ...got me to the hospital ..and a very good phicatrist ...he had to give me ..ect ..because I was going dowen to far to fast ....and I dident care ...it was a life saver ...if I ever need ECT I will take it again .....what I learned was that I needed to talk ..I had always kept everything to my self .....we just aren't made that way .......you ..we need to get everything that has ever hurt us out ......it was not easey ...but ...let me tell you ..after that I talked ...I talk ...I come here so that I can talk to people who can understand me and what I go through ...because it is almost imposible for those who have not gone through depreshion to get it ....they just have no fram of reference ...to work with ....they can't even imagin it ....I had to take my h to see my phicitrist a number of times so he could learn how he was hurting me and how he could help ...and so he could be educated ..about depreshion ..and what I go through ...still in here is ware I am truly understood .....for some reason when I turned 50 ....things changed I decided I wanted to be here ....I still suffer from depreshion ....that dident change ....but you never know what is coming to you in the future .....I am not entirely sure what changed ......but I .have a life ..and I am enjoying watching my grandchildren grow up ..and looking at the world through there eyes ......I look for the good ....the buity in everything around me and try to bring as much positive energy into me as I can ....and I live one day at a time ... I leve the past in the past it is gone ..and I can't change it ....but I have also ..talked it all out ..with my.phicitrist ...over the years ....so I live as I said one day at a time ....don't worry about the future it will take care of its self .....each day is a new beginning ...my doctor told me ..that is I ever wanted to get better than I had to be number one and my h number two and the rest dident count .....my children were all growen ....but I was always in the midle ..fixing everything ...looking after everyone else ....but that was who I was ....so when my doctor said that I was ..surprised and I dident know of I could do it ..but I tried it his way ..and my h helped me ....and it worked ..........I have a life now .......they can't get me up to ware I need to be ...and they can't give me any more meds so for me this is as good as it is going to get ..........I am like they say I have so much ..such a beutiful family ...how can you be depresed ..they say ..it is a desease ....and it needs to be treated ....I will not give up ..I won't do that to my family ..my grandchildren .....we have to find our way ....in here ...if nothing else .....we can let our emotions out ....let out pain out ...know we are not alone ....I need this suport ...I hope this suport ...helps you ...brings some comfort to you ..if only in the knolage that we understand ..and you are not alone ....but my mesage will always be to fight ...I have fought all my life ....and don't intend to ever stop the fight ....................I want you to know ..that ..I will keep you in my prayers .....you are stronger than you think ....take very good care of your self ..be kind to your self .........God bless ......
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