Depression Support Group
Depression is a real and debilitating condition that is often misunderstood by family and friends. Its meaning can range from a prolonged period of sadness to an actual mental illness with specific symptoms. Find and share experiences with others who are going through the same struggles.
Back again after about a year. I tapered off last fall after 1 of my only 2 close friends died (I have no family) and then in February the last of my close friends died. I was living in circumstances where I never knew if I was going to be allowed to stay -- no lease, landlord unreliable (he wouldn't even give me his phone number or address) and had crack dealers and prostitutes and generally scary people for neighbors. When my last friend died I tried to find a psychiatrist, but I our insurance only pays for 2 in this area -- an acquaintance goes to one, says he doesn't care whether his patients live or die; I went to the other, who was a total quack. I finally found someone I could afford to see -- well, I've seen her twice in 8 months -- and she tried me on a drug that gave me two months of hell in side effects. That was followed by a month of illness, followed by a disc problem in my back. Between illness and becoming afraid to walk to the bus stop in the morning (in the dark) I ended up taking taxis to work (at $35 a pop) so that I could keep my job, but in the process I used up what little savings I had. After the last straw from my landlord (he kept sending us new "managers" almost weekly and suddenly wanted to give me a lease plus a $200 increase in rent) I managed to move to a decent place, near work, save from hurricanes (I'm in Florida) and with respectable neighbors. But I still have no friends and no family and the holidays are coming up. I feel guilty posting here as I feel totally bankrupt inside and have little to offer to anyone, but if I don't make some kind of connections I'm afraid I'm going to end up trying suicide when the holidays come. It's very selfish, but here I am. I'm going to try to post as often as I can and get to know some of you -- I was beginning to do that last year when my friend died and all of this started. Thanks for listening.
It sounds like alot of bad fortune has been going your way, I too feel absolutely bankrupt inside (what a wonderful phrase, how apt!) I'm so sorry so much stuff has happened to you, I really hope this helps. I don't think it's selfish, everyone here is here for their own reasons, even if it's to offer hope to people and in some strange way offer hope to themselves by proxy. I too have no friends, and little or no chance of getting any, the one real friend I had in my whole life was got by some strange twist in fate and I grew to love him and he was life to me and then I told him I was going to end my life, I told him I had lost everything when I still had him, the one chance of getting back, and that really did lose him.
I hope you don't try suicide, everyone has some reasons why they hold back, even if it's just fear of death, if you can think of all of yours, and have them ready to hand(if you can) for when you need them, hopefully you will live to find a better place. Words seem not quite right, but perhaps with time we will learn to talk to each other and it to really hit the spot. I hope you find plenty of support here, I too have returned after about a year. I hope I will hear from you again, keep going, there are people who don't know you, but who will still need you.
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