There will probably be a lot of people not drinking. If it makes you sick, or could cause a relapse, it might be better not to. Just my opinion.

A coworker once told me that the best way to handle uncomfortable family contact is to , "Smile and be pleasant." I would add and not linger. Your sister might vent everything in public! I hope not. Hugs.

Don't feel the need to drink, just because others are hon. And don't worry about conversing amongst a large group. Talk to one person at a time, someone you know perhaps. And though I doubt if you sound stupid and dull....just listen to what they say, and ask questions about it or about them. People love to be listened to :-)

As for your sister, all you really have to do is say hello. And why not share with your husband how you feel? He could come to your rescue if you start to feel uncomfortable :-)

GOODLUCK... XO DC.

Focus on the real reason why you are there. To wish an 80 yr old dear friend a Happy Birthday. Keep your mind on that goal. Everything else just ignore and avoid.

If you don't drink then keep it that way. I wouldn't start to drink just for show. You won't be alone with not drinking. There's designated drivers who don't drink, there's people who are on medication who don't drink. It's not a big deal if you don't drink. Carry a cup in your hand with soda or juice and smile and be friendly and no one will even take note of what you are drinking.
Conversations don't have to be serious. Compliment someone on their nice dress or that your love their hair cut. People love to receive compliments. It makes them feel better. Try and focus on one person at a time, rather than trying to take the whole room in. Find a friendly face and find something nice to say and you will be fine. There may be others there who also feel a bit awkward in social settings. You won't be alone. many people are good at faking it to make it.

And If there are going to be a ton of people, really that's better in away because if you feel a little overwhelmed you can easily slip out and take short breaks and no one will notice.
Have yourself a mantra that you can repeat to yourself in your mind.
"I am fine". Or. "I'm doing great". "I'm here for my friend".

Good luck. You'll be fine.

If you must drink, make it non-alcoholic. That way you won't have anything to apologize for the next day!

If it gets to be too much then pay your respects to your friend and make an early exit.

Do let us know how it all goes!

Even if people are having conversations......you really don't have to chime in.....quick short subjects..........say your hello and make a brief statement and have an exit strategy if you get stuck in a conversation you really don't want to be a part of at anytime :-)? Just suggestions. Enjoy :-)

Maintain an escape route if the pressure gets to be too much. Research and find an AA meeting nearby & go there first so you will feel stronger about the party. You don't go to AA on a regular basis? Attend one when stressed or in need. They won't cast you out or turn their backs on you.

Maintain an escape route if the pressure gets to be too much. Research and find an AA meeting nearby & go there first so you will feel stronger about the party. You don't go to AA on a regular basis? Attend one when stressed or in need. They won't cast you out or turn their backs on you.

Try to stay out of the middle of the room! Work the corners! Seriously, where you place yourself in the room or at the table is important. Find another person that appears (by your quick appraisal) to be an introvert, equally as uncomfortable as yourself. Get your mind of yourself by making the goal that of helping others have a great time.
The guest oh honor and your chosen few. The sister, believe me, I know of what you speak. If she's like mine when she speaks it's like nails on a chalkboard! I can't get through any visit without hearing her say some horribly negative hurtful thing to at least 2 or more family members. Things you meet eyes with the others about and take a sigh. As someone said...smile, be mannerly and secretly thankful that you don't have to be around it for long. Great advice from other people here, do let us know how you do.

I think I may have mis-represented myself. I am not nor have I ever been an alcoholic. I used to drink socailly. While alcoholism runs in my family, I never have the "urge" to drink. The only reason I am considering it is because of the uncomfortable situation. That is why I said it was a "gift from God", that I didnt become an alcoholic. I have decided now not to drink, I will just plow on through it as best I can. Thank you all for your support & advice, it really does help!

Gordo, I think I read something into your message that was not there. My bad. [sheepish grin]

Oh, waitress? One crow sandwich and some humble pie, please. A glass of pride to wash it down.

Its okay OldManBear, I took absolutely no offense at anything anyone said. We did go to the party for a couple of hours. I almost had a panic attack when we first got there. I just sat by my other sister & didnt circulate too much. Does anyone else feel like your'e being stared at & disliked by everyone there? That is how I felt..even though they have no reason not to like me...

Hi, I think you're making the right choice by not drinking. I never feel the need to drink alcoholic beverages, and I'm thankful because alcoholism runs in my family...big time. It scares me.

As for feeling like you don't know what to say. I often use the old standby conversation starter..."and so how do you know____(the guest of honor)?" That often opens up some interesting stories about the person you are there to see. I would imagine many people have funny, informative or imaginative stories about an 80 year old.

And if I am going to an event that is just a party to get together with people I don't know, I try to read the news of the day so I know something to talk about...such as, "did you hear about that huge traffic pile up in Houston", did you see the new movie "___(fill in the blank)", did you hear about the new recration center being built here in town"...etc. You get the idea.

Sometimes it takes a little work to get ready for an event, such as reading the news, but it can be worth it so you're not standing around like a bump on a log! And I've felt like that a few times. Actually, I think almost everyone feels that way at times, so you're not alone in those feelings.

Relax, you'll do ok. Focus on the guest of honor! Have fun.